An FYI to current and future fathers

Even on your birthday, you still have responsibilities. One of those would be watching the kids when your wife says "Give me a few to vacuum the girl's floor." During that 15 minutes you should be able to watch the children closely enough to keep them from climbing up on the cabinet and break into various food containers. Your wife will NOT accept the "It's my birthday" excuse when she finds gravy dumped on your son's head and the wall painted with it. Especially when she just finished cleaning the room that was painted.



Do not expect her to wish you a happy birthday, to cook your birthday dinner, or to even be congenial when you take the family out to dinner. And if you don't know why she's angry, then you had better leave her alone because just asking repeatedly "what's wrong" is only going to piss her off more. You should be able to figure it out and if you can't then you're not as smart as she gives you credit for.