I don't even know where to start

We made it to Texas for Chris' pre-deployment leave. It was great to spend time with family and friends. There were too many cute moments to list w/ the kids and too many fun times with family to explain. I would detail it in pictures, but the camera battery died before I had a chance to take pictures.

There was one cute moment that I can't help but tell about Kairi. Earlier that evening I got onto her for screaming out of the van's window at me and when I got inside the van she went on and on and on about how she was just trying to tell me that my phone was ringing. I recounted the incident to Chris about 5 minutes later and told him that I apparently broke her heart when she was just trying to help me. She quickly interjected into our conversation ''My heart's not broke Mommy! It can't be broke! I need it!'' ♥




Other than that we're simply counting down the days till Chris leaves. It's like 21 days or so, which breaks my heart.

Of course we're going through the stages of preparing for deployment which involves more arguing that we'd like right now. But at the same time we're trying to desperately savor each moment together. Such a hard balance to find ... between enjoying each moment together and trying to find a separate spot for each of us as we know that before long we're going to have to stand on our own in our own worlds. There are the moments when I want nothing more than for him to just be gone already, and then moments later I'm bawling at the thought of him leaving.
Emotional train wreck = me




We've started talking to Kairi about Chris' upcoming deployment. Which of course means that we're talking to Alex about it too, but he doesn't understand nearly as much as she does. In trying to bolster her connection and faith in her daddy, we're telling Kairi that Daddy is going to go fight the bad guys so that he can keep her safe -- he's protecting us from them because he's a good daddy and loves us very much. I was never truly comfortable with the idea of telling her that Daddy is fighting bad guys because 1) I didn't want to have to talk about there being bad guys at this young of an age as right now everyone is a potential friend in her mind and I love her feeling safe and secure and 2) because she already goes around ''hi-YA-ing'' random things, I didn't want to give her any reason where it might actually happen. Not only that, but she always has such a hard time understanding that there are true bad guys on shows. We were watching Snow White the other day and while she knew that the Witch did bad things, she still didn't believe that the Witch was truly bad and didn't want to the Witch to be hurt. She just doesn't understand it. And I'm not ready for her to understand it. But if I just told her that Daddy was going to work she wouldn't understand as Daddy always comes home within a day or two of working. I was also worried that once he's back that she'd think he was leaving for months at a time every time he left for work. She has extreme separation anxiety as it is, I am hoping that the idea that Daddy is keeping her safe will help it not become as severe as it could become in the next few months. But be prepared for me to post over and over again about the horrors that separation anxiety causes my daughter to commit. lol



Since coming home we have lived in the house of sick. I have asthmatic bronchitis and the kids are pouring snot from their noses and goop from their eyes. If they had a fever or cough I'd run them to the dr, but as it's just tons and tons and tons of drainage, I'm trying to wait it out. The question comes to when have I waited long enough? Alex has had goopy crusty eyes for over 1 1/2 weeks now. Decisions decisions...



I have 2 million things to do right now but being sick keeps me from being able to concentrate on things. I should make myself a list tomorrow for things to start on Monday and tick them off one by one to make sure it all gets done.



Oh! How could I forget? We flew out to Texas, but drove home. We were given my grandfather's van. It's a 2002 but with only 37k miles! It's so very nice and perfect for our family. This is great for us as it means that we're going to be able to sell the car and get a huge break in our finances. I love seeing things start to ease up for us. :)