Children, we need to have a talk.

Ok, kids. Settle down now. We need to have a chat.

This first part is for both of you.
The morning does NOT start until 7:00am. Got that? Even that is a little early for your sleep-deprived Mommy, but I'll deal with it as long as you oblige. This getting up between 5:30 and 6:30 crap has got to stop. Until the first number on the clock reads 7, you can not get up. I don't care if the clock reads 6:59:30. It is not yet 7, so stay in bed! In the rare case we DO have to get up earlier because your daddy has duty that day, it does not mean that you can wake up at 5:30 the next 3 days in a row. It does not work that way. And if you insist on waking up at 5:30 the next day, you can fully expect me to doze on the couch while you are penned into the living room with me. I will not respond to your pulling of my hair or bouncing on me. It just doesn't happen, so stop trying.


KAIRI
~Lotion is not a hair moisturizer. Stop putting it there. And stop teaching your brother to.
~The pantry is not open for a reason and you are not a monkey. Stop scaling the pantry shelves for food. I have everything you are even remotely interested in hidden. Either that, or else you've already moved it to your bedroom. If you break a pantry shelf and cause me to spend $50 on getting our landlord to send someone out here to fix it, I will NOT be happy.
~I know that we all rave over Alex when he babbles. But he's 14 months and he rarely speaks. That does not mean that we need to rave over you for spewing nonsense when you speak with clarity 90% of the time. And throwing a fit because I didn't tell you how cute you sounded is not going to make me want to do it anymore.
I'll stop there. We'll address more next time.



ALEX
~You are 14 months. I have HEARD you say Mama, Dada, more, and all done before. Therefore, I know you can. START. I know you are getting a late start because you couldn't hear me before, but the fact is that now you can, so it's time to get busy boy. TALK!
~Again, the hearing thing. I know you couldn't hear me before so it made it super easy to not have to mind. I excused your ignoring me on a regular basis. But you can hear me now. Yesterday Dr. Weiss said that your ears were completely clear. THAT MEANS YOU CAN HEAR ME!!! So when I say "Alex come here" and you glance out of the corner of your eye at me and then run in the other direction, I know that it's because you think it's more fun to pretend you can't hear me than to obey. From now on, this won't fly. Boot camp begins today. You WILL obey. Got it?
~Just because you are little, and cute, and have absolutely gorgeous eyes, does not mean that you can demand to be held every time I sit down at the computer. I know that you don't want me, but rather the 10 million Dr Pepper cans your daddy left at the desk. Or the screws he left up here. Or the cds/dvds. They are not yours. You are not getting up here. Screeching at the top of your lungs and throwing things at me will not get your way. It only annoys me.


CHRIS, because let's face it. Sometimes you're one of my kids too.
~When we had the talk about cleaning up your desk every night before you went to bed, I was serious. The fastfood cups and Dr Pepper cans have been here for at least 3 days. I know you weren't here yesterday, but that's 2 nights worth of cleaning that you could have should have done.
~The same goes for your dirty socks. YUK.
~You are capable of putting your own clothes away. The pile beside your bed that I told you I was too busy to hang up, was not intended to stay there. You have 2 hands. HANG THEM UP.
~Yes, you're doing much better. But these are things that you still need to work on. Thanks.