I promised my friend Kris Marie that I'd post my birth stories if she would post hers. I didn't expect it to happen so fast though! ;) This morning I read her birth story, so now I'll share mine. I know, I could be cooking breakfast or doing dishes or getting the kids ready for church. But there will still be time for some of that after I'm done, right? ;)
And an assignment for Jammie and Joyce: You're going to write out your birth stories on your blog! Don't c&p it from Babycenter. Write it out now looking back at how you currently feel about all of it. Oh yeah, and I want it for BOTH kids. Got it?
(There, that'll make you blog for me. ;) )
Kairi Hope's Birth Story
Let me begin by telling you that there was a lot of drama involved when we first found out I was pregnant. Not only had I only been married a few weeks and my husband living in another state, but things had happened to me before I was married that I had refused to tell anyone until I absolutely had to. In which case, it was when I was 2 mo pregnant for some people and 4 mo when I told the rest. The up side to all of it, though, was that I had several extra ultrasounds to make sure everything was ok! :D
Pregnancy was miserable for me. I'm sure that me not wanting to be pregnant and not feeling ready for it all added to that miserableness. But the never ending
morning all-day sickness didn't help.
And then the most defining day of my pregnancy happened. I was about 20 weeks pregnant. Chris had finished his school in Illinois and the Navy was sending him to another one in Virginia. He was going to fly out to see me, and then planned on taking a truck to his new school. I was to buy the truck before he got there. Daddy agreed to help me go look. We were driving on a service road next to Wall St/Hwy 80. It's where most of the car dealerships in town are. At one of the entrances to the service road we saw a white towncar. The driver was obviously distracted and moving quickly so Daddy slowed down (fully expecting him to run his yield sign), but we both saw him start to slow down. So Daddy started back up. Just as we were feet away from his front bumper, he slammed on the gas. Daddy slammed on the gas and swerved. We spun as he hit our tail end.
To this day he swears he didn't see us. I don't know how. We were in a bright red car and literally FEET from him when he hit the gas. Daddy's swerving, although it spun us, probably saved Kairi's life as he was headed straight for my door.
I called my ob from the scene. He didn't think that I had to go to the er, but wanted to see me on the coming Monday. (I don't remember why, but I know that the school I had been teaching at was on a 3 day weekend.) That weekend I did end up going to the er because I was in so much pain. My back hurt, my hips hurt, and the pain was making me throw up more than normal. Dr. Martinez told me that while he couldn't force me to stop working because I wasn't endangering my child by doing so, that I was endangering myself and that I NEEDED to get off my feet.
The moment Chris heard this he announced that I was no longer working. He had me get all my things in order with the school, and when he showed up that weekend, he helped me pack up 3 suitcases, and I moved with him. (My mom and bff later packed up my apartment (putting my belongings in storage) and cleaned it up for me once my lease was over as that was cheaper than me breaking my lease and having to get a storage unit.
Because were stationed in VA for only 4-5 months, the Navy wasn't willing to assign us housing. Instead, Chris' parents loaned us their travel trailer which we lived in for the rest of our time in Virginia at an RV park. We lived in Virginia Beach -- a tourist trap if there ever was one.
It was a little while before I found an ob that was willing to take me that far along in pregnancy. Navy doctors were going to take even longer though. I eventually found a practice in Chesapeake that sounded like it would work. There were 2 obs and a midwife. The midwife was wonderful and monitored me the closest. I was sent through a 6 week physical therapy course where it was determined that my pelvis was unstable and had been twisted in the wreck. Can you say ouch? The pt really helped, though, and it taught me good practices for when my pelvis starts to hurt again even now.
I was constantly being told that I was gaining too much weight. They didn't believe me when I said that I threw up everything I ate and for the most part just didn't eat because of it. I started keeping a food log where I showed what I ate and what came back up. That's when they started listening. Well, then and when my blood pressure starting rising. After some testing it was determined that I was pre-eclamptic. NOT. FUN. It was determined at about 30 weeks, which was too early to do anything about. Our goal was that I would make it to 35 weeks before Kairi would have to come out. But it all depended on my blood pressure. I was put on bed rest and had to go in every few days for a non-stress test (nst).
By the time I reached 33 1/2 weeks, my feet were literally balls. I was gaining all sorts of water weight. And we had NOTHING for our child. My cousin eventually mailed me a box of clothes/toys and other family members starting buying clothes as fast as they could. My grandparents sent us money to buy some basic supplies. But of course, we were living in a 27' travel trailer, so there was no room for any big items.
The Friday before I was 34 weeks, I had a kidney stone. I was terrified driving to the hospital that morning. I spent the 30 minute drive on the phone with the Life Center's nurse (in Midland) while she coached me through the pain. We didn't think I was in labor, but something was definitely wrong. Chris got to the hospital about an hour after I was admitted. I was in the l&d ward for a while passing that. Monday morning I went to the hospital for a nst and had a dr appt later that morning. The nurse was worried because nothing they tried could get my blood pressure in a safe range. She immediately sent me to my ob's office. Dr. Burfoot examined me (who was technically my ob). I scared everyone there because I was so swollen and my blood pressure was so very high. They made me take a nap at the office in hopes that it would lower my bp. It didn't. I was sent home with instructions that that night I was to report to the hospital at 6pm for an induction. This baby had to come immediately. The next day I was 34 weeks.
That afternoon Chris had to go buy a baby bouncer, a car seat, and an outfit for our child. I had just received the blankets that my mom had made for our little girl.
We got to the hospital a few minutes early. I will admit the rest is really hazy. I was told initially that they were going to start the pictocin in the morning. But they started it that night -- my blood pressure scared them. I remember them starting the magnesium sulfate that would lower my blood pressure. I was told that in some cases it makes people feel a little weird. And moments later I was vomiting and hot then cold and back. It made me miserable. My mom flew out the next day. I remember her walking in my room and suddenly back out as she didn't recognize me. I yelled for her and she came running in there. She didn't tell me that she didn't recognize me then. (She saved that for months later.) Apparently my face was swollen nearly beyond recognition. She said that one side was bigger than the other, and that it looked like someone had been beating me up because of all the swelling. I was in and out of it for the rest of the day. I do remember intense back pains. Another kidney stone. And that I couldn't stay conscious for long periods of time (a side effect of the mag).
That night Dr Corney walked into my room. I clearly remember this part. She told me that there was no way that I could continue. The baby's heartbeat was starting to act up and it scared them. My blood pressure was continuing to rise -- I could start having seizures or a stroke at any moment. The baby had to come.
I was never so scared as when they put the spinal tap in me and then strapped my arms down to my bed in the er. Chris was allowed in there with me, thankfully. I remember feeling them touch me, thinking that they need to stop poking and just get her out. About that moment I heard her scream. It was the most beautiful sound. Chris swears that they showed her to me before they did anything else, but I don't remember it. I do remember taking a couple of pictures after she was bundled up, but I couldn't see her -- just her eyes. I don't remember much else from that night. I do know that she had some problems breathing at first, but that they quickly worked it out.
It took them several hours before they brought her to me. I asked for her constantly. I wasn't allowed to hold her in the room by myself because the magnesium (that I was still on as they were trying to get my bp down still) acts as a muscle relaxant. The first time I tried to nurse she latched right now. But they said that she wouldn't stop crying in the nursery. Only Mike (one of the night nurses) could get her to calm down. That first night, after they finally brought her to us, Chris held her after she stopped nursing. I told him to call the nurses to come get her -- there was no way I could take care of her that night. I woke up hours later to find him still holding her, just staring at her. I cried because it was so touching.
The next day I spent trying to get Kairi to nurse. I was still attached to the mag, though, and that was preventing my milk from coming in. Kairi was born at 5lb 3oz. By the next night she had dropped to 4-12. Sometimes she would nurse, but most of the time she just screamed. She was hungry and couldn't figure out how to latch. That night I was attacked. At 3am a pedi and several nurses came in my room to inform me that my baby was going to die if I didn't start supplementing. I had to immediately. I was given a SNS (supplemental nursing system) which attaches to your breast and they learn to nurse while receiving formula. It took several different systems until we found one that she could use without it pouring into her mouth. Now knowing what I do, I know that she was truly in danger, but I also stand by the fact that 3am is NOT the time to talk to a mother about it. Especially not one that was drugged up on mag. They should have waited till the next morning. She would have been ok for another 5 hours.
They eventually moved me to the mother-baby unit. That's when we were told that she was too small to go home. She had to gain some weight, or at least stop losing it. The day she went from 4-10 to 4-11 we were really excited! I remember spending days pumping, nursing, pumping, nursing. Still no milk. I found a pedi (which I hadn't done yet) who agreed that he would see Kairi the next day (Saturday) if I was released with her that day. First of all, he was great. He was so very pro-breastfeeding. But he also wanted to get Kairi to 5 pounds before we started trying to teach her how to really nurse. So I was told to nurse on each side for 20 minutes, and then to have Chris give her a bottle.
She reached 5 lbs when she was 1 1/2 weeks old! My milk had come in the day before, and while she hated nursing (that never changed) it was great for her. The day she reached our goal, our pedi told me to stop the formula. She had to learn to nurse now that she was healthy enough to push the issue, he wanted us to.
Kairi was 2 weeks old the day my mom traveled back to Midland. I remember dropping her off at the airport and bawling because I felt all alone. That day was Chris' last day of classes, that night we were going to begin packing up so that when he got his orders in a few weeks we would be ready to go. So I left the airport, went home, and collapsed in bed with Kairi. I had been asleep not more than 30 minutes when Chris came in. His orders had come early. That morning he was ordered to report to Mayport, FL in 14 days. From there he was going to be flown out to Bahrain to meet the ship he was stationed to. The next day we finished tying up the trailer and began our journey to Texas where I would stay while he was gone.
During our travels, his orders were changed. He only had to report to FL, he didn't have to meet the ship. That was a relief. I was able to meet him in Florida a month later once we had housing.
Oh, and from that experience, just let me recommend that you NOT drive half-way across the country in a standard (because your husband is in the truck pulling the trailer) with a c-section and a 2 week old baby that has a hard time nursing. Not fun. Not fun at all.
