MommyMamaMom

Moving to a New Blog

2011-01-21T09:18:00.000-08:00

New blog address:

http://mommymamamom.wordpress.com/

Someone Stop Me!

2011-01-20T14:25:00.000-08:00

I HAVE to stop looking at pets on CL and the Humane Society's website! I already live in a zoo. I feel badly that Zoe doesn't have a playmate, though. My in-laws brought their little dogs with them when they came to visit earlier this month and Zoe has been very lonely ever since then. There's an adorable lab on Craigslist right now that needs adopting and they only want $40 to help recoup the cost of nursing her back to health. She's about 5 months old and just precious looking. Zoe would have a blast with her! But alas, not only do we currently have the $40 to spend on her, we already have a zoo. Although, if I had the money right this second ... yeah, I'd so be picking her up tomorrow.....

What a Great Weekend!

2011-01-18T08:21:00.000-08:00

(Look at me! Two posts in less than a week! I rock! ;) )

Friday night an amazing friend of mine, Meagan, sent me a text offering up a night of babysitting (at my house) so that Chris and I could go out. She brought her daughter, Azzy, along and my kids had a blast I'm sure. Azzy is 2 weeks younger than Kairi and they are best friends. Except, of course, every 5 minutes when one of them announces that she is no longer friends with the other person because they aren't playing "right". No, they're not both super strong willed and don't butt heads constantly. Why do you ask? lol

Chris and I of course jumped on the offer and went out to eat and to see a movie. It was such a great night. I don't know that we've enjoyed ourselves as much as we did. It was full of laughter and just general friendship. We definitely need more weekends like that.

Saturday morning Chris went to his first CMA meeting where he got asked why he hadn't brought the kids and I. Guess that answers our question of whether or not the kids would be welcome! We're in the process of joining the Christian Motorcycle Association right now ... instigated by Chris who is really excited about getting to join the music ministry there. (Yay!) And yes, this means that Chris now has a motorcycle. He's really happy about it and it has led to more peace in the house. He's already had his first accident ... yikes! But it wasn't his fault, the police report proves that as a cop witnessed it, and the bike will (hopefully) be fixed soon -- details on that in a minute.

We spent the rest of the day just being lazy around the house. It was really nice actually.

Sunday Chris sang at church which always makes me happy. Then we went out to eat with Meagan, Azzy, and Tim -- Meagan's husband. We had a great time, as we always do with them ... which is probably why we're spending almost every weekend with them. That night we were invited to their house for the evening, but only Chris went as the kids HAD to go to bed. It was not a good night for them.

Then the best part of the weekend was actually yesterday. Chris doesn't work on Mondays now. Kairi had the day off for MLK. That morning when Chris got home (he stayed the night there), he told me that he and Tim had decided to give Meagan and I a girl's day. They watched the kids while Meagan and I got to go out and have lunch, get our hair cut, and go shopping. We had so much fun! I got three new shirts, 2 pairs of shoes (both things that I've been needing for a LOOOONG time), organizational stuff for the kids, and stuff for our gardens! This year we're not only doing gardens, but we're going to do them together! I'm so excited. Now's the time to start planning and preparing for it so we're getting busy. It's going to be so much fun. While we were gone, Chris spent the day smoking a brisket and it was ready just as we got home. Both families ate together and we had just a general good time. I love days like that. They left around 7 at which point I immediately put the kids in bed and Chris and I went to bed right after that. Seriously, when I turned out the light it was 7:18. I have never gone to bed that early before! But apparently I needed it because when I woke up this morning I felt better than I had in a long time. I'm ready to tackle my house and workout schedule and get plans for a Bible study and our garden together.

So quickly, a FlyLady update. I'm not flying. I'm barely fluttering. I've realized that I need to start from square one. Today is Day One. Yes, my house looks better than it ever did before, but it's not where I want it, so I'm going to try to keep going w/ my normal routines but starting at Day One today with FlyLady, I'm going to add that in. I'm also going to start trying to add in at least 20 minutes of activity a day for me, and try to remember to read my Bible every day. Which leads to my Bible study stuff I mentioned earlier, and I'll try to post about that either this afternoon or tomorrow.

And while saying all this, I'd also like to mention that I'm considering switching to Wordpress. My biggest problem with updating is that I have 3, yes, count them, THREE, blogs. It's hard to keep up with them. It's hard to know what to put where, to remember who should read what, and who has links to which one. So all three have been dropped until Sunday night/Monday morning when I couldn't sleep because Chris wasn't home. Maybe switching to Wordpress will help me password protect certain posts while not having to either duplicate or triplicate posts on blogs where it could go to either or all, and would help me feel like I had a single home to post to all the time. I still haven't decided for certain ... but I'm definitely considering it...

All that being said ... I'll see you either this afternoon or tomorrow! Have a great day!

Not Bothering With Updates

2011-01-17T01:02:00.000-08:00

I just have a couple funnies from the kids. Maybe if I start one day at a time with the funnies I'll eventually get to the point where I'm updating regularly. And maybe after that I'll start filling in holes from the last few months. :)

Today at dinner Kairi was talking and kept confusing herself but wanting me to help her "know the right words". The problem was I had no clue what in the world she could be talking about! Finally I had to tell her that. "Sorry, girl, but I REALLY don't know what you're talking about." Her response? "Yeah ... I don't know either."

~~~~~~~

A few nights ago I ended up giving Kairi and Alex the "if anyone touches you here, here or here, you HAVE to tell Mommy" speech. It was a good conversation for the most part and very unscary... just one of those things you have to prepare your children for I suppose. And at one point Kairi wanted to know what I would do to the "bad guys" or even good guys that do bad things. I informed her that I have special Mommy powers that help me take care of those people and she doesn't have to worry about it ... just to trust me. Kairi announces that she doesn't have special powers but she's TOUGH. (She saw Annie the musical about a month ago and has been obsessed with being tough like Annie ever since.) Alex then declared that he had cool little boy powers. Kairi teased him by saying his powers were stinky powers. I have to share Alex's and my conversation after that:

Alex: I'm not a stinky boy!
Me: Are you sure about that dude?
Alex: Yes! I'm not stinky, but my special power farts are stinky!
Me: Yup, you sure do have some stinky farts.
Alex: Yeah, it's the farty powers.
Me: So what do you have? The Power of Fart?
Alex: Yeah! I fart all the bad guys away!

I kid you not, during the last week he's taken every opportunity available to fart on the imaginary bad guys.

Just a few updates

2010-12-24T18:33:00.000-08:00

I need to make this more than just a monthly thing. One day, right? lol

We've recently tackled potty training with Alex and that's been very ... umm ... interesting. It's not that he's not ready, because he is. He knows what to do, how to do it, and even when to do it. But if he has jeans on he won't go in the potty because he doesn't want to bother taking his pants down. But it's winter and he needs pants on those legs! I can't afford to keep my house warm enough for him to not wear pants during the winter so he's got to get better at it. One day at a time, though. We'll get there and carrying 5 pairs of clothes with me every where we go will be a thing of the past. :)

Kairi and I are still struggling with her attitude towards me and her friends. If it's not done HER way, then she's upset with us and suddenly laying in the floor screaming that she hates me/will never be my friend/won't play with me anymore/etc. After trying a letter chart and that not helping behavior, we're just putting her straight in bed when she does it. I'm not going to listen to her be rude. I know she doesn't mean it, but that doesn't mean she can keep saying those things. She's also doing it to her best friend, Azzy. Both Kairi and Azzy have very strong personalities and butt heads quite often. But they react totally different from each other. Kairi gets upset and she starts screaming and throwing a fit. Azzy gets upset and she cries to manipulate you into doing things her way. Needless to say, we're doing a lot of work on compromising. Kairi likes playing tea party. Azzy usually wants to play musical chairs. We have invented a musical chairs tea party game. Kairi wants to watch movies with Azzy. Azzy wants to play like they're in a movie. So we try to alternate in 15 minute rotations on which we do. Things like that. Both always want to be the leader, so we're taking turns in 15 minute rotations on that too.

I'm really thankful that Kairi has Azzy, though, as her parents have become the main people Chris and I spend time with. We're doing things together at least once a week. Her dad (Tim) and Chris get along great. And Meagan and I always have fun together. My only regret is that there is no boy for Alex to spend time with. He is always having to play with girls and we frequently find him wandering around by himself or standing next to us totally bored because either he doesn't want to be dressed up like a princess again or they are refusing to play with him. There is another little boy on the way! Meagan is due next spring. That's just going to be a big age gap for Alex. We need to bring another family with a little boy Alex's age into our group! Still trying to figure out who that might be though. lol

I'll try to update in a few days about our Christmas and other things. But there's where we are for now!

The Scoop On Kairi's Kidneys

2010-11-29T13:04:00.000-08:00

I was so horrified by the test for Kairi's kidneys/bladder in September that it sorta sent me into hiding. I don't know how to explain the reaction that Kairi and I had to it, but let me try to explain it the best I can, and the next 24 hours, as well as the results of the test.

First they did an ultrasound on her kidneys. It was only different in that they did the u/s from both her stomach and back. She had no problems with it and chatted the tech's ear off. From there we were taken to the xray room. The xray is actually called an VCUG as it's different from a normal xray. The put a catheter inside of her, injected dye, and took xrays while the dye went filled her bladder, and then while she voided. Let me just say, this was not a pleasant experience ... and that is the understatement of my lifetime. I won't share the horrors, but if your child has to have one, let me know and I'll try to calmly prepare you no exactly what to expect. And then I'll tell you to ask/beg/plead for sedation. Right before leaving we were told that we'd hear from our pediatrician in 2-3 days.

That night and the next day Kairi was in a lot of pain. She stopped urinating and was scared to even try. She ran a fever and cried for hours. I finally took her back to the er, where she eventually voided her bladder for the first time since her procedure. Thankfully, the hospital I took her to was the same one that she had had her tests run at (and is a children's hospital) so they were able to pull up her records. Because of this we did get some news. The er doctor told us that the VCUG showed that she had grade 3 reflux so it was relatively minor and that I could call our pediatrician the next day for more details. Of course, that information made little sense to me, so I had to do some research. Let me share with you the most helpful link I've found.

http://www.pedisurg.com/PtEduc/Vesicoureteral_Reflux.htm

That basically explains that while she urinates her urine goes backwards up her urinary tract, into her kidneys, and then back down. It gathers fecal matter in the kidneys and once that reaches the bladder it can cause severe irritation and infections. The severity ranges from grades 1-5. Kairi is a grade three which is right in the middle. It doesn't require surgery, if it can spontaneously correct itself. Grades 4 and 5 generally require surgery. There's a 50% chance that the condition will correct itself.

Our doctor referred her to a urologist. Dr. Mercer is great. After meeting with her, the following decisions were made. One, we're not doing surgery for at least a year -- not unless she develops an extremely severe infection between now and September. She's on antibiotics anytime she starts to show symptoms. She'll go on them full time if she starts having fevers on a regular basis. She's on a schedule to control how often she pees to help train her bladder how to urinate. She's drinking cranberry juice almost exclusively. And we're retesting her next September. However, next time the test will happen under sedation, with her Daddy present. I will not be the one to hold her down during it again. She'll still fight it, I'm told. But this time she won't remember it, which will be a blessing as she's still telling her friends at school about how the doctor put tape inside her vagina. :-\ If there is no improvements by next September, then she'll most likely have surgery. It's a full bikini incision, though, which is not something I necessarily want for her. If there is some improvement, we'll continue to watch it. And of course there's the chance that it's completely well, which would be my favorite option. :) If in a few years it's almost completely resolved itself but still seems to be lingering, there's an injection she can have, but it has a smaller rate of success so it's not something we want to try unless her condition isn't very severe.

Since her visit with the urologist, she's not had a full blown infection. The few times she's shown symptoms I've had her on her meds for a few days and it's resolved itself without needing a dr's visit.

We also learned that Alex is unfortunately at risk of having the same condition. It's genetic and therefore siblings run a high risk. Also, Kairi has a large bladder which contributes to her issue. It also helps explain why she had such a hard time potty training. Fortunately,she doesn't want to test Alex for this issue unless he has an infection (although, one infection and he's immediately tested ... but I've been promised sedation for that test).

A Quick Conversation

2010-10-28T13:44:00.000-07:00

Mommy, Why are you so sad?
I'm not sad, baby. I'm sick.
Oh. Then you need to be in bed!
But if I'm in bed who will take care of you?
That doesn't matter Mommy. You need to go to bed.
I can't baby. I have to take care of you two.
Oh, well, I know who will take care of you!?!
Who baby?
GOD! He takes care of you and ME! So you go to bed and God take care of us both. Bye Mommy!

A Kairi Funny

2010-10-21T06:37:00.000-07:00

Story for now. Updates later.

The Blend Chant

Kairi is learning phonics. It's one of the reasons I picked out her specific school. They learn phonics early and will be reading on a first grade level by the end of the year. The first sounds they learned were the vowels. Now they're learning consonants. One of the first letters they learned was the letter t. They then attach the vowel sound to each consonant as a blend. So when they learned the letter t the blends were ta, te, ti, to, tu.

Last week I was waiting to pick Kairi up in the hall outside her classroom. They were walking through the classroom across the hall to enter their classroom when I heard it. Kairi's voice came strong and loud as she chanted out with a clear beat the t blend sounds. Every now and then the boy behind her would join in, but with or without help Kairi was chanting her blends.

Her lead teacher, Ms. Jennifer, entered the hall first to lead the way into their classroom. She stood in the hall watching her children go into the room. Kairi was at the back of the line. Her co-teacher, Ms. Christie, was at the end of the line. As Ms. Christie walked into the hall she didn't see me. Instead she looked directly at Ms. Jennifer and said "She's been doing this alllllllllllllllllllllllll day."

At that moment Ms. Jennifer looked at me and smiled and simply said "I know." I shook my head and said "Sorry about that. Sounds like my daughter. At least you know that she knows her blends!" Ms. Christie looked thoroughly embarrassed to be caught semi-complaining about my daughter. What she doesn't realize is that I fully sympathize. I understand how annoying that could be. And deep down inside, in a place I'd never admit to her face, I'm just thankful that I don't have to be the one that hears it all day. ;)

Moving

2010-09-28T18:48:00.001-07:00

Have I ever told ya'll how MUCH I hate moving? Because I do. With a passion. It's one of the most horrible things you could ever do. Especially when you have bronchitis and a stomach bug that is immediately followed by the most terrible, horrible, excruciatingly painful cramps ever experienced by mankind.

In good news, I love my new house. And Chris is thinking that he likes this house so much that we may not move to the other side of town next year when he'll be working over there. And that is good.

So I'll be back to a normal routine once our move is finished and Chris is working again. (On leave till the 10th...). In the meantime, just be glad I'm not on here every night telling you all how much moving sucks. ;)

Oh, and btw, Chris is helping this time. It's a nice change. :)

Driving Me CRAY-ZAY!

2010-09-08T19:17:00.000-07:00

I had to wake Alex up from his nap today. I hate doing that because he is always super grumpy afterwards, and really, who can blame him? I'm grumpy too when I have to wake up before I'm ready.

Because I woke him up he was crying. And crying. And crying. 30 minutes of crying later and he finally let me hold him in my lap. I was sitting with my legs crossed while he laid in my lap and tried to stop his sobbing. Kairi was on her knees facing me while trying to cheer her brother up. Here is the conversation that followed:

Me to Alex: So what is this Dude? Do are we going to have to sit here all night like this and send Kairi to church without us?
Alex (with much whining and a nod): Uh-huh
Kairi: But Mommy! I don't know how to drive!!!
Me: Really?
Kairi: Really!
Me: Really?
Kairi: Yes!
Me: Really?
Kairi: Yes!
Me: Really?
Kairi! MOMMY! You're driving me CRAY-ZAY!

Warning Signs You Don't Want to Miss

2010-09-06T18:43:00.000-07:00

I've heard it over and over again, if you have a uti then you will KNOW that you have a uti. But what if you don't? More to the point, what if you don't know that your CHILD has a uti?

In May Kairi's ravenous appetite took a nosedive. Suddenly she was picking at her food and constantly telling me that her tummy hurt. Being the drama queen that she is, I generally believed her to be exaggerating and just started sending her to go potty more often. Then she had a few random fevers. Next she started wetting the bed -- something she hadn't done since February. I noticed after a while that her lips were always chapped and let her use my lip gloss occasionally while pushing more liquids.

Then the bombshell. During our trip to Texas, she suddenly started running high fevers and crying when she needed to tee-tee. I knew immediately what that signaled and took her straight to the er. A couple of hours later we had our diagnosis -- a uti. But I didn't combine the fevers and painful urnination with the other symptoms. To me they seemed to be completely separate issues. In fact, it wasn't until this last round of problems that I realized that it was all combined.

At this point Baby Girl has now had 6 suspected uti's. I say suspected because every time the culture done in the office comes back borderline. And most of the time she's treated just in case. And let me tell you, my baby girl can pee in a cup like a pro and on demand. She's GOOD.

When we finally got to see our regular pediatrician about the past few months and the suspected uti problem, he was immediately concerned. Worried that this was a recurrent problem, that may go back all the way into infant-hood (and explain the occasional low-grade fevers without any other symptoms), he scheduled an x-ray and ultrasound of her kidneys to be held this Friday. When we get more information I'll share that with you, but for now I know that we're looking to make sure that her anatomy is correct, nothing is enlarged, and that there's no scaring from past uti's.

But if your child had a uti, would you really know it? See, I always thought I would, but now I'm pretty sure I'd be wrong. Uti's left untreated can cause scaring which causes even more problems. And in infants and young children, it's not always the "omg I'm dying" pain that we experience as adults. So here's a list, taken from www.kidshealth.org, that can help you recognize uti's hopefully earlier than I did.

Symptoms of a UTI can include:

pain when urinating
changes in frequency, appearance, or smell of urine
fever
chills
loss of appetite
nausea
vomiting
lower abdominal pain
lower back pain or discomfort
UTIs can also cause bedwetting in kids who were previously dry at night. Infants and young children may only show nonspecific signs such as fever, vomiting, or decreased appetite or activity.

Some kids experience UTIs again and again — these are called recurrent UTIs. If left untreated, recurrent UTIs can cause kidney damage, especially in kids younger than 6. So it's important to know how to recognize the signs of these infections and get help for your child.

A Mean Old Lady

2010-08-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

I'm a mean old lady.

At least, that's what I tell my kids every time that they start to whine. Really, my theory is start out mean and strict and tough, and eventually you'll be able to loosen up and have fun. But the meaner you are on a regular basis, the more fun the fun times are. I mean, I don't run a boot camp here, but I do expect and demand good behavior from my children and I'm a pretty firm disciplinarian when disrespect, direct disobedience, or violence (towards me, each other, or an animal) comes into play. Other things can be dealt with through natural consequences, but those things warrant immediate action. I also am not afraid to tell my kids no. I know many moms that will go out of their way to find a way of nicely saying no, and there are things that I don't outright say no about (like buying something the kids want ... my answer is always "maybe later"), BUT I also try to be realistic and sometimes the answer is simply no.

All that being said, there can be some whining and crying whenever discipline occurs or the word no is uttered in my house. My response is usually "I know, I know. I'm a mean old lady. And I don't care. The answer is still no." To which a sobbing child usually mutters something about me not being mean (although you can tell that they don't mean it) (and I notice that they never contradict the old part). I chuckle, say it's ok, I know I'm mean, and then find something else to do while they calm down. They also adamantly deny that I'm mean when I'm relating a story of their adventures and when I said that I was a mean mommy and made them stop. I have suspected for a while that this is simply a way of buttering me up.... Perhaps it's a little psychology with the idea that if they tell me I'm not mean often enough maybe I'll start to act like I'm not mean.

Two days ago I was putting Kairi in bed. I don't remember what all our nighttime conversation entailed but I do know that by the end of it she was very happy. She jumped up and gave me a huge hug and a kiss and then while squeezing me tight a second time she exclaimed:

"You're so nice Mommy! I love you! And I thought you were MEAN!"

Picture this

2010-08-20T11:28:00.000-07:00

Boxes piled behind the couch that separates my living room from my dining room.

Camping gear piled next to the door to take to the storage unit.

Laundry couch full of clean clothes.

Bedroom floor full of dirty ones.

A floor coated with toys.

Last night's dishes stacker precariously high in the sink.

A daughter in nothing but panties.

A son in nothing but a diaper.

Both kids are curled up on the couch watching Mulan way too loud.

A dog whining on the floor that she's not allowed to chase the cat that is perched on the back of the chair I type from.

Bathrooms that need to be scrubbed.

Bedrooms that need to be straightened. And my bedroom needs an overhaul.

Trash that needs to be carried out is sacked but still piled by the trashcan.

And finally, a kitchen floor needs to be scrubbed -- spot mopping won't do it this time.

Now that you have that picture firmly planted in your head, can you explain to me why I'm not doing anything about it? I really have no good excuse.... lol

But it is the reason I'm not blogging today. Hopefully by this evening I'll have at least a picture or two to share and will be triumphant in my quest to rid my house of the mess. :D

Oh, before I go I will share pictures. I finally have a camera again and while these aren't top notch they do make me happy. :)

She wrote her name all by herself! I had to help her remember how to spell it, but she did all the pencil (er, crayon) work herself!

A face I've missed very very much.

And finally, Alex has become a major cheeser recently. :) Just look at those eyebrows!

School Blues

2010-08-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

Kairi has been ready for school much longer than I have been ready for her to be ready for school. She astonishes both me and my family on a nearly regular basis with the things she has taught herself. Do you remember my grand plans for homeschooling this spring? Well, they fell through thanks to a certain young lady NEVER believing a word I said. Every single lesson or thought or game became a challenge of did I really know what I was talking about? Even just reading books for the last few months has been interesting. I read a sentence ... "Mommy, does it really say that? Are you sure? Maybe you need to read it again to make sure." (Sure being pronounced shore.) And if you accidentally stumble over a word ... may heaven have mercy on your soul because Kairi will NOT. To say that this deployment was trying would be a drastic understatement.

But despite my not spending as much time "teaching", Kairi still has managed to teach herself a thing or two. She can almost write her own name. She knows most of her letters and their sounds. She can draw very well. Her reasoning powers are amazing. And she believes that every story should have the following parts: 1) Once upon a time, 2) And then there was a PROBLEM! What are we going to do?!?, 3) The end. And she can quote facts about the ocean, dinosaurs, bugs, Texas, and other random tidbits she's picked up, at the drop of a hat.

I hadn't realized how far she had come until our second day at my il's house in Texas. It was our stop on the way to Midland. Becky (my mil) had brought the kids some highlighters and paper from her office. Kairi had been drawing and "writing" stories for a while when she jumped up and ran over to me with blank paper and highlighter in hand. "Mommy! Pretend this is red!" Ok baby, it's red. "Now, take de color and draw an octagon." An octagon? Ok... "Good job Mommy! Now put in the middle s." An s ... alrighty, there you go. "Perfect Mommy. Just perfect." Then she walks over to the coffee table and starts working intently on the same paper. Finally, she stands up and walks over to me and goes "Member we're pretending it's red! Now look! It's a stop sign! See?!? S-T-O-P! That spells stop!" And right next to the s I had written for her, she had followed it with a t, o, and p ... formed almost perfectly. Since that day she has told every one that she thinks might be interested how to spell stop and that a stop sign is an octagon and is red. She also tries to spell her name, but frequently forgets the last r and i.

This spring I also knew that starting in August Kairi would be able to start pre-school for half days for free. It's a nice program that Florida has for our children. I worked hard to pick out a school for her that used curriculum that I wanted her to use and had the same philosophies and ideals I used when teaching myself. I did find what I wanted in a school. They use a fun curriculum that is also much more advanced than the traditional pre-school stuff. It's also Christian based which is pleasing to me. My aunt uses the home-school version of it for her son and through them I have come to really appreciate it and what it teaches. It should push Kairi to learn (which she needs) but will give her a teacher besides Mommy so that maybe she'll believe her. They do require uniforms at the cost of the parents, and I had to pay a curriculum fee since it's not the state-provided curriculum, but beyond that I couldn't ask for a better situation for Kairi. I'm really excited about the coming school year.

So why the title you ask? If I'm not sad that Kairi's going to school, and Kairi's definitely not sad that she's going, who is blue? His name would be Alexander James. Alex frequently cries because he doesn't want his sister to leave him. He cries that he doesn't get to go to school. He cries and claims that no one needs to go to school. But mostly, it's just that Kairi is leaving him. The poor kid has never had to spend more than a few short periods without his sister. His life pretty much revolves around her and what she wants to do. This fall will be interesting for both of us as we get to experience what life without Kairi is like. I'm thankful it's only for a few hours each morning for this first year, but I also am hoping that just as it's good for Kairi to go to school, that it will be good for Alex to be home with me. And maybe he'll let me teach him if she's not there throwing things off with her constant questioning. :)

How in the world did so much time pass?

2010-08-13T17:42:00.000-07:00

Here we are almost a week after my last post and I have no idea how I haven't blogged yet. lol I promise I have lots to talk about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think I mentioned in the last post that Chris reenlisted for another 5 years. His reenlistment ceremony was July 26th, and while I missed it because it was on the ship the day before he was home, his parents did get to see it. I'll try to include a few pictures from that. Even if it's not my most favorite thing ever, it's good for our family and I'm extremely proud. :)

Part of the goodness of reenlisting when you're an ET in the Navy is the nice reenlistment bonus that comes along with it. I'm not going to say exactly how much, but let me describe to you what this means to us: we're paying off the car, we've bought new kitchen stuff, Chris built a new computer, a couple of new gun/gun supplies, new furniture, NEW CAMERA STUFF!, spending money, etc. Needless to say, it's been nice to be able to put money in savings and still treat each other with things things we've been wanting for a while. My favorite things at this moment are tied between the dining room chair covers and my new camera lens. The chair covers makes everything just look RIGHT again. They're now black and eliminate the harsh contrast of patterns and colors. And actually, I bought two lenses. One has come in so far and I'm really excited. :) It's a 70-300mm lens and it should be very nice for what I need it for. The bonus also helped to pay for our trip to the mountains. Another nice part of the bonus is that we'll get some money from it every October for the next 5 years, starting this October. And with that bonus check .... Chris is buying me a new wedding ring!!! I'm currently wearing his mom's ring (who is wearing an anniversary ring). It's pretty, but tiny and not something that I would ever pick for myself. This time we're picking out my new ring together and I'm so very excited about it. :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days ago I did something I've been wanting to do for a while. I re-pierced my (left) ear cartilage, and I pierced my nose! I have a little stud on the right nostril now and I love it. Of course, I'd love it all more if they were all through hurting, but that might be a little while. In the meantime, I'd settle for the kids just not bumping them anymore.

Once they aren't bright red, I'll post pictures. :)

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After all we've dealt with food issues with the kids, I've now got a new food issue to deal with. But not with any PERSON in my house. Instead, it's with Zoe -- my DOG!!! She's always been an itchy dog, and recently has been sneezing non-stop, so I finally took her to the vet for it. They think she has food allergies! So we're trying her on a prescription food diet for a while and seeing if that fixes it. Part of me hopes it's that simple because it would be an easy fix -- in a way. But part of me is praying it's not the issue because convincing the kids to not feed her, and keeping her out of the cat's food is becoming a problem. Very very very hard.

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I'm sure there's more to share, but at the moment I'm having a hard time thinking of them so I think I'm just going to go to bed with a book. Have a good night! ♥

ETA: Pictures aren't cooperating. I'll try again for those tomorrow. G'night!

Let's Restart

2010-08-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've truly blogged. I had every intention of keeping the private-ish blog updated on what has been going on, but it just felt weird blogging there. No real reason why, but it just didn't mesh. And I may still eventually make my blog more anonymous in order to talk about those things, but right now, it just doesn't feel quite right.

So let's do some quick updates, and then hopefully we'll get restarted on this whole blogging thing. :)

~The kids and I spent a month in Texas with my family. Zoe came along with us while I had a friend staying in my house and taking care of Aslan. We spent time with family, played in sprinklers, went to the Sandhills, and just in general had a good time. Zoe had fun too playing with all the different dogs we saw. Now that she's home she's super lonely and restless. I'm thinking that when we move next (into a house WITH a fenced yard) a new playmate is in order for the poor baby. :)

~I did really well with Weight Watchers for a while, lost a lot of weight. In the last month and a half I have gained back a little of it, but am now getting serious again. I don't want this weight on my body any longer.

~CHRIS IS HOME! His ship pulled into port on the 27th and we are all happy to have him back home. Alex is suddenly more happy to see him than he ever was before. And of course Kairi adores her daddy and is always seeking his attention.
The 27th was a Tuesday, we spent Wednesday with his parents who came into town to see him, and then Thursday morning before the kids got up we packed up and headed out of town. Chris' parents kept the kids Thursday and Friday, and then took them to a friend's house where they stayed until we came home. Chris and I went to the Smokey Mountains to camp for a week. If I remember to, I'll blog about that later this week. :)

~Now we're preparing for the next phase in our life -- shore duty! Chris officially leaves the ship in September and begins working at the other base in Jax in October. He has a few short trips out to sea between now and then, but thankfully he'll be home from there on out for the next 3 (or so) years. I'm hoping that that will good for all of us.

Ok, so onto trying to read a few blogs and catch up with people that I've missed. Here's to a more consistent future for this blog! :)

To Do:

2010-06-18T08:49:00.001-07:00

I haven't been around in a while because my days generally are so full that I don't have time to type, or I'm totally exhausted and can't think to type. But to help with the blogging, and to demonstrate exactly why I haven't been around, let me show you today's to do list. Btw, I hurt my back Tuesday, so this will all have to be done with a bad back. Joy....

1. Clean Alex's room. Scrub poop off his wall.
2. Steam clean both kids' rooms and the hall.
3. Put up groceries in the kitchen. Spot mop.
4. Laundry, laundry, more laundry. And then some laundry.
5. Take Zoe to the groomer's. Run across town to the NEX to get the bag I left there yesterday w/ batteries, razor blades, and a movie for the kids.
6. Pick up Zoe.
7. Vacuum and then steam clean a few spots down stairs.
8. Cook dinner.
9. Put kids to bed in time for friend to come over. Yay for girl time!

Oh, and I need to throw a shower some where in there. Not sure exactly when that's going to happen.

So, Nessa, if the bathroom isn't scrubbed, and there's still laundry on my bed this is my apology way in advance. lol I'm going to work as fast as I can. And Joyce, no comments about the laundry. It's still better than it was before. :P

I have ...

2010-06-05T20:16:00.000-07:00

A messed up crazy life right now. But I'm starting to love it again.

A dog that needs a backyard.

Two kids who need an attitude adjustment.

A husband who is far away but can't wait to be home again.

4 drafts of posts I've started but not completed for this blog, along w/ multiple other drafts for other blogs.

A knee that needs to be soaked because it decided to swell again tonight.

A couch full of laundry to put away.

A house that's almost all put back together. Almost.

And a jam packed summer that I'm really looking forward to.

Super Kairi

2010-04-26T13:55:00.000-07:00

Did you know that there is a movie called Super Kairi?

I was just told so by Kairi. It's her favorite movie.

But when I asked her if I could watch it, she goes "Well, I left it at my work."

So I asked if she could bring it home, and she told me that she would, but Zoe broke it so she had to throw it away at her work.

I said that I'd try to find it at a store and she goes "I think maybe I can find it here. Just let me look later." And then added as she walked off "But if you got to see it, you really like it Mommy. It's all about me, Super Kairi."

Another Difference In Kairi and Alex

2010-04-03T07:12:00.000-07:00

This morning I got to observe another difference in my two amazing children that made me smile and remember how much I enjoy getting to know their individual personalities.

When Kairi gathers her animals together, they all have relationships that represent the people in her life. They speak to each other in English and thir conversations usually reflects whatever is on her mind. If she's thinking about her daddy, her animals talk about their daddy. If she's been thinking about princesses and the color pink, her animals do so as well. If she's missing our family in Texas, her animals miss their family in Texas. It's a precious insight into her mind, especially when she's not able or willing to tell me what she's thinking about. And it's always been this way. Anytime she plays with animals, she puts her own thoughts and feelings into them.

This morning, though, I saw Alex gathering his favorite animals. He had the elephant, a puppy, an otter, and a bear. They were on the step to the sliding back door and they started talking. But when they started talking, it was a whole new world. They spot in their "animal voices". The puppy barked, the bear roared, the elephant trumpetted, and the otter, well I'm not sure what noise Alex was having him make, but it was interesting to say the least. To Alex, his animals are real animals that exsist in their specific worlds. They aren't his personal therapy -- they are just playmates. Maybe it's that things don't affect him as deeply as they do Kairi -- he does have a happy go lucky spirit that rarely dwells on things he doesn't like.

Whatever the reason for the difference, though, I'm just thankful tat I have the opportunity to get a glimpse into each of their minds, a chance to see how different they are, and to see one more piece of such precious personalities. :)

Another Picture from Yesterday

2010-03-26T06:34:00.001-07:00

A Day at the Beach

2010-03-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

Dee Rowell of DJRowell Photography took pictures of the kids and I this morning. I thought I'd share a sampling (especially since I am currently camera-less). Eventually copies of these will be up for sale on her site if you want to purchase these or others. I'll put a link up when the pictures are available for viewing.

In the meantime, here's 6! (Clickable pics)

The Princess and the Frog

2010-03-23T14:17:00.001-07:00

I'm listening to it in the background while the kids watch it intensely. This is our second time through it, so I know what they're seeing at least.

Through all the darkness that can be found in it, there's a story that I find to be very compelling. It's the story of the lies that Satan tells. The prince is drawn into half-truths and makes a deal for his life based on such lies. Throughout the story the Shadow Man has to make more and more bargains with his "friends on the other side" in order to keep his scheme going. In the end, his scheming fails and he has to pay the ultimate price for his promises.

You know, Satan promises us things all the time if we'd only go along with his plans for us. But he only tells us the part he wants us to hear, or he is vague enough to keep us distracted and focused on what we want to hear, or he flat out lies about what would happen. Some part of us is hesitant, but many times we are so excited about what we want to hear, what we want to believe, that we just go along with it. That does not make us any less responsible, but it's good to recognize the way Satan works.

And in the end, when we make a deal with Satan in order to get what we want, there is a price to pay. It's called consequences of actions. It's not always our death, but there is a price to pay for our sin. Whether it's that someone doesn't trust you any more, or you ruin a dream you had for yourself, or it's that you have to face the earthly consequence of it ... there is always a price that has to be paid. And if you promise your soul to Satan, you have to know that one day he will call on that promise. Only Christ' grace can save you from that.

There are other good lessons throughout the film, but that is the one that speaks to my soul right now so I wanted to share it.

New Location

2010-03-20T08:34:00.000-07:00

Due to circumstances in my family I am currently having to make some changes.

I plan on continuing to use this blog for pictures, some stories, and even the occasional family rant. However, I can no longer continue to write here on a regular basis because when I can't talk about what is on my heart right now -- it feels like a lie.

If you would like access to the new blog, please email me and I'll send you the new address.

Writer's Guilt

2010-03-06T15:39:00.000-08:00

I have writer's guilt. It is similar to writer's block, in that I find myself unable to write, but different in that I have plenty to say. My problem is every time I start to blog, I start thinking about all the things I SHOULD be doing instead of wasting my time at the computer, so I stop writing. That doesn't mean that I've been productive housework wise. It just means that I've allowed my guilt to keep me from writing. I suppose if I actually got the house clean, I wouldn't feel so guilty anymore and could blog to my heart's content, but what's the fun in that, right? ;)

To make up for it, I'm going to post a bunch of randoms from the past few days.

Last night both kids were playing upstairs. I thought that they were in Alex's room. But suddenly Kairi started screaming that Alex had my pretzels -- that means that he was in my bathroom. (Doesn't everyone keep pretzel sticks in their bathroom? No? Oh, well I do.) I hollered up the stairs that he needed to bring them to me immediately, and that Kairi needed to close my door.

Slowly the boy trudged down the stairs. Bag of pretzel sticks in one hand, other hand in a fist behind his back. He tried looking repentant, but there was a glimmer of a smirk on his face -- a tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth that screamed he was trying to not laugh at his own cleverness. He drug his feet to me, handed me the bag, and said "Sorry Mommy. Go pay now." and took off running for the stairs. I grabbed his arm right before he took off, leaving his little legs running as fast as they could w/ him going absolutely no where.

I told him to hand over whatever was in his other hand -- the one he kept hiding from me. The smirk was gone. He was devastated for about 8 seconds as he started to hand me the handful of pretzels he thought he was hiding so well. Just before they reached my hand, he took a bite off, dropped them, and started to run again. Let's just say that he was completely devastated when I made him spit out his bite.

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My house is veeeeeeery slowly coming together again. I have cleaned out the kids' closets. Put up 2 out of 3 new bookcases. Moved another bookcase. Bought a new tv that needs to be mounted on the wall. Found a table for the kids, but can't put it up until the old tv is moved upstairs so that there is room for it. I know that one day my house will look the way I want my home to look, but so far it's not there yet. Let's hope it is by the end of the week at least, though. :)

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My weight loss is moving right along. I'm so very proud of myself. :) I have lost nearly 15 pounds since I started in January and am so excited about needing to put some of my clothes in the back of closet because they're getting to be too big.

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Alex knows not just that the PS3 plays movies, but how to take the old movies out and put new ones in. He can also operate the cd/dvd drive on the computer.

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Kairi has become quite the stickler for the rules recently. She's constantly correcting Alex, telling him that Mommy says the rule is xyz and he needs to obey. Of course, if the rule is to speak respectfully to your mommy, then it can be ignored...... right?

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Kairi cut her hair for me the other day. I still have to get it to someone to have it repaired, but for now it's not notice-able if I style it just right. She's having a hard time with "cut only paper" thing. She'll obey it (now that she's been in trouble for cutting her hair), but if she could talk me into letting her cut something else she'd be thrilled.

That's all I have time for tonight. Hope everyone is doing well! I promise to try to comment on blogs soon.... :)

And I should be back by Monday to tell the latest in our Naval adventures.

Communal Property

2010-02-24T08:00:00.000-08:00

Alex is having a hard time understanding what belongs to him versus what belongs to other people and the social constructs surrounding such thoughts. Or maybe it's not that he doesn't understand, but rather he just doesn't care.

Most recent example. Both kids were given cups of water this morning. Each child was shown which cup was theirs and told to only drink out of their own cup. A few minutes ago Alex starts screaming about Zoe drinking water out of a cup. I go over and Alex shows me Kairi's cup and goes "I dink Kai-wee wata and now Zoe dink it! Tell no! Tella Kai-wee wata!" I shooed Zoe away and made sure her water bowl was full (which it was), and then turned back to the cup. Alex was still in tears. I asked why he wasn't drinking his own water and he told me because he was saving it. Of course ... he saves his own water by drinking Kairi's; makes perfect sense. I told him that he needs to drink his own water from now on, not Kairi's. Kairi finally takes notice of the entire situation and starts to freak out that both Alex and Zoe drank out of her cup. I'm on my way to replace the cup, but that's not what she wants, she wants HER cup. See, Kairi has been clear on what belongs to her versus other people since before she was two -- she does not understand why Alex doesn't respect this rule. To Alex, all things belong to all people, even if they have someone else's name attached to them. Unless it's his Cars book or his blanket, then if you touch it you might die a death of burst brains because of his shrill scream. I offer Kairi Alex's cup, since obviously he hasn't touched it and she somehow sees the justification in this. He isn't happy that she's drinking the water he saved, but he also knows better than to scream at her about it -- that never ends well. He walks off muttering about needing water. I finally replaced the water cup that both he and Zoe drank out of and made him promise not to touch Kairi's new cup and to not put it down when Zoe's in the room. And now he's calling both cups Kairi's cups. At this moment I have no idea which cup belongs to which child. I'm going to assume that the one that Kairi shrieks about every time Alex walks near it is Alex's old and therefore Kairi's new cup. But to be honest, I'm not sure as I think that Alex managed to trade off cups while Kairi was going potty.

Hilarious or Infuriating? Or Both?

2010-02-17T12:10:00.001-08:00

I thought I'd give you an update on how homeschooling is going w/ the kids, but instead of giving details about how fast Alex is catching on to things, or how well Kairi is doing tracing, or how much fun they're both having, let me share a moment or two that happened today. Every single thing we learn has this same battle with the Girl, while the Boy is willing to agree that I know what I'm talking about every time.

We were reading Part One of the Flip-Flap Body Book which discusses food, digestion, teeth, etc. Kairi interrupted me to inform me:

"Mommy, food does NOT come out my bottom. Germs come outta there. Food goes down into my toes. I know cause I see my candy hearts from yesterday when I look at my toes. See? It's right DERE. Mommy, stop being wrong. I know dese things."

Later, when we were looking at capital and lowercase letters, she tried to convince me that b and d are the same letter. When I promised her that they're not, and tried to show how they go in different directions, she told me that she was smarter than me and knew that it was just an accident.

Lord help us when she's a teenager if this keeps up.

When they arrest me, this is my insanity defense....

2010-02-04T19:21:00.000-08:00

6 Brand New Bottles of Finger Paint

What a "pretty" mess. It's even on the wood of the table. Of the $1200 dining room table.

The culprit tried to use a towel to clean up.

Obviously, the towel didn't work.

The bottles are empty....

Meet the culprit, trying to look innocent.

Didn't she do a fabulous job on her arms and legs?

I bet that those shirt stains come right out ..... yeah.

It splattered on the walls.

Oh yay ... It's on my carpet too.

Yup ... on the carpet and walls.

This would be a beautiful handprint, had it been on CONSTRUCTION PAPER.

Yeah, she's nothing if not thorough.

This does not include the dining room chair, couch, wool coat, or front door.

All I wanted was 10 minutes to finish blow-drying my hair while she watched tv. This is what it got me.

My confession....

2010-01-27T07:49:00.001-08:00

So do you remember this post? You know, the one where I committed to reading the Bible in 90 days? I was excited, and while I wasn't buying a new Bible at that moment, I knew I could keep up with the reading in my own Bible. I was determined to not let anything keep me from doing it.

And then came January 1st... the only thing I was thinking about on January 1st was that my husband was leaving the next day. And my desperate need to spend every waking moment with him because of that. And January 2nd all I could think about was that my husband had left. Then by January 3rd, I was more concerned with being able to breathe than reading. That's how it started ... the 2 1/2 weeks of asthmatic bronchitis that left me barely able to walk from one side of the room to another without having a coughing fit that would leave me in a heap on the floor. Reading the Bible didn't even cross my mind during those first few days.

Now, that's not to say that God didn't have a lesson for me during those times. Because He did. He reminded me that He led my family to the church we attend for a reason. When I was in the middle of a "can't believe I'm 1000 miles away from the people that would help me with the kids -- I can't do this -- what am I thinking?!?" pity party while sick one night, I suddenly realized that I needed to call someone for gatorade. There was no way I was going to survive the night, let alone the next few months if I didn't get myself hydrated, and since I could barely hold anything down .... gatorade sounded like a good idea. So I called, and gatorade was brought for me, frozen pizza for the kids. From that night on, there was not a night that I had to cook. Food was provided, little things that you might need around the house were brought, babysitters volunteered to take the kids so I could nap, and no one did anything more than once for us. Our church family poured love and blessings over our family. And all it took from me was being willing to admit that I couldn't handle it on my own, asking God to find a way to help us through it, and then calling a lady from church for help on ONE night. Women that I barely knew were bringing us things and offering to clean my house and do my laundry.... Talk about a humbling experience.

But even though I was being reminded by God that HE is the one that is carrying me through this deployment, and that HE will make sure that we're taken care of, I still wasn't reading my Bible. I just forgot. And when I did remember, I felt so guilty that I made myself forget.

Sunday was my first Sunday at church since before Chris left. I left it exhausted, but also challenged. Joel, our preacher, challenged us all to read our Bibles for 2 hours a day for 30 days and to see the changes that God would bring in our lives from that time spent with Him. And while Joel preached, I knew I had to do it. Not only because I wanted to take Joel up on his challenge, but because I was soooooo far behind on the 90 days! It would get me caught up and help me recommit to spending more time with God. My first thought was that I'd read 2 days worth of reading per day. I had thought that one day's reading would last me about an hour, so 2 days should give me 2 hours. I was wrong. It took me 3 days reading the first day to get me 2 hours. And last night, it took me 4 days of reading for me to get 1 1/2 hours. And I promise that I'm not speed reading or skimming (well, I occasionally skim the name lists), I just read that fast. So I may be done with this read the Bible in 90 Days challenge a lot sooner than March 31st..... Actually, once I'm caught up, I plan on reading other parts of the Bible while reading just the daily reading with the Bible in 90 Days program.

But either way, I'm excited to be doing it. I do need to start reading earlier in the evening. Starting at 9 or 10pm only makes me exhausted in the morning. But either way, I'm happy to be doing it and not feeling nearly as guilty as I've now caught up w/ week one so I'm only 20 days behind instead of being 27 days behind....

Over the next few days I may post some of my reflections on what I've read so far. Right now I'm just in awe over the things that I knew but had forgotten.

Wait, here's something that I was a little dumbfounded over at first, but then realized is probably typical of what humans do on a regular basis. Abraham, twice, told a king that his wife was his sister. Both times he was reprimanded by God and by the king once the truth came out. Both times the KING paid Abraham and apologized, even though the only person who had done anything wrong was Abraham by lying. First, it struck me how frightened others must of been of Abraham's God -- my God -- that they were scared of offending Him even when they weren't the ones that had sinned. I think it speaks for how much God hates sin that they were truly terrified of invoking God's wrath because the only way they would know that God hates sin that much is if someone had truly offended God and been punished. I am so thankful that we have Christ who intercedes on our behalf so that I don't have to be that terrified to approach my God when I have sinned.
Also, the only way we know these stories is because the history of the Jewish people was passed through an oral history -- children memorizing word for word what had happened in their people's past, until it reached Moses who recorded it for future generations (and even then, it was still memorized word for word). So in order for us to know that Abraham sinned both times, he had to have told Isaac. But Isaac did the exact same thing with Rebekah! He told a king that she was his sister because he was scared that he would be killed in order to take her from him. He again was rebuked by both God and king, but was still given many gifts in order to prevent his God from being angry with the king. Shouldn't he have known better?!? Of course he should have. But how many times do we repeat the same mistakes that our parents or our grandparents or our friends made? Yet God still loves us. He still calls us His own. He still draws us into Him and cares for us. Even when we sin and break covenant with Him, He still keeps covenant with us. He knows we're going to sin, and probably make the same mistakes more than once, but loves us anyway. He is truly a gracious God.

Only a Texan...

2010-01-24T10:51:00.001-08:00

I have Texas plates on all my vehicles still. I know I've lived in Florida a while, but we've kept our permanent residence address in Texas for legal reasons, so I've felt justified in keeping Texas plates. It's rare that I think about it, but today they created a story.

I was in the drive-thru at KFC. I pulled up to the window when the manager laughed and said that I must have been stationed in Texas. I quickly explained that no, I was from Texas, but my husband was now stationed here. His eyes lit up:
KFC: Where in Texas?
Me: Midland/Odessa
KFC: Really?!? My uncle used to own a furniture store in Midland!
Me: Wow...what a small world.
KFC: It is. I come from a family for 4th and 5th generation Texans. I don't know how I got stuck in Florida.
Me: Haha ... yeah, our family goes way back there too.
KFC: I wish I could say we were at the Alamo, but we weren't. But we were at San Jacinto!
Me: HAHA! We were too! Well, not during the battle. My family got there 2 days too late for the battle.
KFC: My however many greats grandfather was Sam Houston's doctor and was there!
Me: Still laughing You know, only a Texan would be able to tell you exactly when their relatives showed up in their state, and what roles they played in that state's history.
KFC: You're right! We always know what our people did.

Seriously, that conversation would not have happened about almost any other state. It made me laugh, and be a bit proud the history of the state that I wish I still lived in. :)

Another Saturday Edition

2010-01-23T07:32:00.000-08:00

The television is officially banned in my house. It's not a permanent ban. That would be too much for me. But it's a ban until attitudes are better and my house is clean. And it's only in effect while kids are up. Kairi was interacting less and less with her brother and I, becoming angry if I talked during a show, and only pretending to be characters on her shows. Yesterday I had enough. She was talking back because I was trying to get them to color and she wanted me to turn the tv on. She melted into the floor bawling because I refused. And that's when I decided that I had had enough. I informed her that the tv wasn't going to be turned on for the rest of the day. If she fought me over it, I would spank her. So she needed to come color. She pouted through color time, but eventually forgot about the tv. Alex and Kairi played in their bedrooms without needing my supervision (and no fights) for a couple of hours after naptime was over. And they didn't fight me over helping straighten up their rooms before bed that night.

As of this morning, the tv hasn't been on, no one has asked for it, and I've not had a major attitude from either child. If the day continues to be this good, I plan on us having a picnic in the living room floor tonight when I'll treat them to watching Thumbelina with me. I cannot tolerate their previous behavior though. I semi blame myself because when I was sick I allowed the tv to be on waaaaaay too much. But that's over with. Yay! lol

I had been planning on starting "school" with Kairi this spring. She needs more formal learning and I know that she's ready for it. After Alex's evaluation the other week, I realized that Alex needs it as well. So I'm currently gathering resources and will soon start "homeschooling" for preschool. Now, Kairi will be in a regular preschool next year, as in Florida the state pays for 4 year old preschool. But it would not hurt to start this year and get ahead. Especially for Alex as he already is starting to recognize letters and can tell me some of their sounds.

I plan on rearranging the living room and purchasing some new furniture to help with this. It actually fits nicely into the no-tv rule as I'm going to be moving the tv and putting their school table in that corner. Maybe I'll mount the tv on the wall or something. Either way, the tv will no longer be the certain of attention in my living room. I keep threatening to take the large tv upstairs to my bedroom and putting the tiny tv downstairs for the occasional video.

I've had so much fun picking out workbooks and games and things for the kids to learn with. I think we're going to start with the Kumon workbooks, along with a couple of others by School Zone and Brain Quest. They look like a lot of fun and something that the kids will truly enjoy. Then I a friend recommended a couple of games/books that came with her homeschool curriculum that I'm going to invest in. I hope that this goes as well in reality as it does in my head. lol

I have made a weight loss goal and I need to post my progress to keep myself accountable. After Alex was born, I was really good about watching what I ate and working out every day. I lost weight quickly. By the time Chris had returned from his deployment, I was a size 8 and still losing weight. Today, that is not the case. I'm back to where I was, and I hate it. So my goal is simple, 110-115 pounds by June 26. It's a reasonable goal. It would require me to lose 2 pounds a week. I'm going to not count calories, but keep a general idea of what I'm eating calorie and fat content wise. I'm going to work out every day, even if some days it's just stretching and crunches. I also should buy myself a scale. That way if I do start to slide in the wrong direction, it won't take me having to change back into bigger clothes to figure it out. I'm not going to run myself into the ground, but I am going to be consistent about this. Once upon a time, Kairi thought that crunches and other exercises were just things you did every day -- things like cleaning and cooking that you did but could learn to enjoy. I know that she doesn't think that anymore. I'd like to change her mind again. :)

Story time

2010-01-16T21:21:00.001-08:00

Kairi and Alex have been full of adorable moments today. Ok, so some of them weren't so adorable in the moment. But I can smile about most of them now. Here's a few of them:

Alex crawled into my lap and curled up in my arms like an infant. Then he pointed to himself and said "Mommy, rock baby. Tree top baby." He wanted me to sing rock-a-bye baby so that he could have the little "drop" in the song. After singing it and "dropping" him a few times, he informed me that he wasn't just any baby, he was an "ag-gator baby". Which if you were wondering, he's still on the alligator kick -- he is an alligator almost every day these days, with short breaks during the day to be a baby or a puppy.

When Alex first woke up from his nap he was terrified looking and sounding. I held him close and couldn't set him down for about 5 minutes without horrified wailing. I finally got him to tell me that he had bad dreams. He said he remembered monsters that scared him. I promised him that there were no more monsters and that he didn't have to worry about it. About that moment, Kairi came bounding up to my bed where I was sitting with Alex and climbed on up. She immediately launched into her fantasy realm and began to tell me that my bedroom floor was a river and we were in a boat. Our boat needed to hurry though, because there were monsters in the river. Alex set straight up for the first time since his nap and starting screaming "No monsters! Mommy! No monsters!" I told Kairi that we were not going to pretend monsters today. She could pretend dinosaurs or dragons or trolls or whales or whatever she wanted to, but no monsters. She started to get insistent that there were monsters chasing us while I tried to calm Alex down. Finally, I looked at her and told her that Alex had had a bad dream about monsters so we weren't going to pretend that way today. Suddenly, her whole face changed. She bent down to eye level w/ the little boy ball in my lap and said "Alex? You have bad dream?" Alex grunted an uh-huh response. "I sorry Alex. Look! No monsters. Monsters are pretend anyway. See? No monsters. We won't play dat. I sorry. Wanta tell me bout the dream?" And at that he launched into a babble that made no sense to me, but comforted him and Kairi set listening intently while nodding her head. When he finally finished, she patted him and goes, "Is ok Alex. Now let's play." And suddenly, the world was right again for both my kids.

While Kairi, Alex and I were curled up on my bed after naps talking and playing, Kairi decided she had to go potty. These days after going potty she has figured out how to wash her hands without needing me to lift her to the sink by climbing from the potty seat to the cabinet. Today, though, the water kept going and going and going and going and going. I hollered after a moment to find out what was taking so long.

Just washing my hands Mommy! And I'm gonna wash my face!
You're washing your face? Seriously? Fine .... just hurry up and finish.
Ok Mommy!
A minute later there's still water running.
Kairi, what is taking so long! Turn off the water and get in here!
But my feet are dirty Mommy! I gotta wash dem too!
You do NOT need to wash your feet! Turn off the water, and then get your butt down from the cabinet, dry off and get in here.
Fine Mommy!
Water is still running for another minute.
Kairi! Get in here NOW! Soap off. Water off. In here.
Ok, ok, I'm coming.

I hear her climb down from the sink. And in she walks ... hair is dripping, legs are dripping, butt is dripping, shirt soaked. I tell her to get that shirt off, at which point she climbs onto my bed and starts to try to jump while taking off her shirt, spreading all the water across Alex and me ... and my bed.

I am officially grumpy. Kairi said it, so it must be true. These days if I act the least bit upset Kairi looks at me gently and goes "Mommy, do you miss Daddy? Are you sad?" and no matter whether my answer is that yes I miss him, or yes I miss him but am just frustrated with your bad behavior right now, or the answer is yes I miss him but I'm more upset because I can't stop coughing, Kairi's solution is always the same. "Mommy, you need a hug." She then proceeds to hug me and tell me that she loves me. If she's supposed to be in trouble I usually shoot back "I love you too, but you're still not allowed to xyz...." The rest of the time I just grin a goofy grin inside knowing that she's a much more empathetic and compassionate child today than I had ever imagined she would be 2 year ago. Today, though, Kairi talked back non-stop. She does it frequently these days. And I finally jumped on her case about it. She calmly listened while I lectured her on not talking back, and then she pulled out the card

Mommy, do you miss Daddy?
Kairi, you know I miss Daddy. That has nothing to do with this. This is about you doing what you're told to do without talking back. I'm the Mommy, not you.
Mommy, when you miss Daddy you're not fun.
Kairi, when you talk back, you're not fun. Stop talking back to me.
Mommy, are you still sick?
Yes, I'm still sick. But we're talking about how you talk to me. Don't talk back to me again or else you're going to bed early tonight. Do you understand? Say yes ma'am.
Yes ma'am. But Mommy, when you're sick and when Daddy's gone. I don't like you much.
Sorry Kairi, you have your whole life to not like me. It doesn't change that you can't talk back.
At this point, she folds her arms and looks at me with a frown. Mommy, when you're sick, and when Daddy's gone. You're grumpy. Goodbye.
And with that, she marched out of the room and did whatever she had told me no about before.

Since I've been so sick recently, I've not been cooking. Instead, I've been blessed by an amazing church family that has been providing meals for us most nights. One of the ladies also brought by some diapers so that I didn't have to go to the store and so that I didn't have to try to do laundry feeling as badly as I do. It was very appreciated. Normally, if we do disposables, we do the Target brand. They work well, leave no rashes on children, and are cheap. We were brought Luvs though. I may be switching brands. Now, I hate the smell of Luvs. I hate the way they feel so very papery. I hate how they're smaller than Target's and hold less pee at night (Kairi keeps waking up leaking as she's still in night-time diapers). BUT we will be switching to them for one reason: Alex HATES how it feels to pee in them. We went through 10 diapers today because after every single pee, he took his diaper off and then brought me a new one. The worst one was when Kairi insisted that he take it off (even though I was yelling for him to not), because it was poopy and she wanted me to see it. As if I wouldn't see it as well when I was changing it..... Even with the annoyance, though, at the constant taking off the diaper before having a clean one to put back on, I was impressed that he was so aware. And if he hates the way it feels to have on THAT much, then it shouldn't take too much encouragement to get him to go in the potty instead. :) That's my hope at least. We start this week.

The kids are hyper these days. I've been sick and unable to properly run them ragged, so they have way too much energy for their poor sick mother to handle. Tonight they decided to expel that energy. They did so by running from one room to another, climbing on furniture, and throwing toys at each other, all the while screaming at the top of their lungs.

Final story for the night. It was way past the kids' bedtimes and I was gathering things to send them that way when Alex ran to me yelling that he was scared. I asked him why and he indicated that the problem was with Kairi. I hollered across the house that she needed to stop scaring her brother, and continued to get things together for bedtime. Suddenly there was loud shrieking on both children's parts. I walked in to find out what the deal was. Kairi was screaming while making scary faces from behind a corner of the couch at Alex, while Alex threw things at her shrieking "No scare me! No scare me!" I yelled for her to get away from the couch and stop scaring him. She looked at me calmly and said "I have to scare him. It makes me happy." Remember the monster story? Turns out there is no possible way for her to be that sweet all day. ;)

More on Alex

2010-01-12T11:59:00.000-08:00

Alex had his appointment today for the follow up on possible speech therapy. General consensus is this: He's too smart for his own good.

He does have speech delays. He is missing sounds that he should have learned during those periods when he had little to no hearing. However, we're going to have to go the extra mile to get him help.

Because I didn't have a written referral, only a verbal one, they simply tested him to see if he was lacking skills in a specific developmental area. If he qualified for services there, then they could include the speech therapist in the other area. If he didn't, then I would have to get a specific referral/prescription from the ent or audiologist for therapy and they would evaluate him again.

They evaluated him in 5 categories. Three of them were cognitive skills, motor skills and communication. I don't remember the other two. Average 2 year olds score between 85 and 115 -- usually depending on how new a 2 or how close to a 3 they are. To qualify for services, a child has to score below 78.

Alex's lowest score was a 109 in communication and his highest was a 121 in motor skills. Most of his scores were well above the 115 norm-high. They said he was solving puzzles and showing skills that even some 4 and 5 year olds struggle with. On average, they said that he functioned at a level of a 3-4 year old and said that that explained his lack of connection with other children his age and his self-isolation when with his peers.

Alex definitely showed them his speech problems, however, because he is "higher functioning" he's adapted to those problem and learned other ways to communicate. They tried to find another way to offer him speech therapy, but basically said that he just scored too high every where. They sort of explained not being able to help him but the reason they felt a need for me to keep pursuing help like this: if a normal 2 year old showed the issues he was having, his communication scores would have dropped below normal and qualify for help; or if a 3-4 year old child (that functions the way he does) scored this way, the communication score would again qualify him for help; but because he is a 2 year old functioning at a 3 year old level, there is a gap in the system that he falls through. The only way to correct this is through having the ent or audiologist prescribe the help. Unless they do, the therapists we saw today were worried that his speech would not correct itself completely and he would always have a slight "hearing impaired accent".

The plan of action now is to wait until his appointment in February. The speech therapist did give me a few suggestions to try at home, which I've already been doing, but will continue to work on. Then we'll take the results of his hearing test and where he's at speech wise, get a referral, and go back to Early Steps and have them help us go from there.

2010-01-04T08:33:00.000-08:00

I have pictures to post, things to talk about, stories to tell, and no clue what to do first.

So I'm going to start with my favorite picture and call it good for the day.

Randomness from the last few weeks

2010-01-02T16:02:00.000-08:00

I have no energy to post a real post. That's what happens when you go through Christmas, a 4 day trip to Texas and back (wedding in the middle of that), New Years, and a spouse leaving for deployment. And yes, deployment was today. He'll be home in a little over 6 months. Can't wait as I miss him already.

~Kairi's not mad at Daddy for leaving, but for Daddy not taking her with him.

~Alex has decided that he answers to nothing besides "alligator". He frequently tests me on this. "Mommy. Mommy. Mommy." What Alex? "NO! ALLIGATOR!" Except, it doesn't come out like alligator but ag-gator. Too cute.

~Wedding was beautiful and I couldn't be luckier to have Janice as my sister-in-law.

~Trying to convince my parents to come out here for my youngest brother's spring break this year. Wish me luck.

~I have had a migraine for 3 days now. Maxalt barely touches it and it NEVER fails me. It may be time to go see a doctor. But I was convinced that once the deployment stress was over that I'd be ok. Maybe I'll wait until tomorrow to see if it calms down.

~The dog is driving me insane. I think she sensed the stress in our house and it has caused her to NEVER poop on the puppy pad but instead always on the floor, have massive amounts of diarrhea, and become more destructive than ever. Her favorite thing to chew now is diapers and she'll knock the trash over to get to them. I guess I need to pick back up on the cd'ing now that I'm not traveling all over the world and can finally wash on a regular basis.

~My house looks like a tornado vomited in it. Gotta work on that Monday.

~Also need to do a menu plan on Monday. It'd be nice to make one and stick to it.

~I have big plans for this year w/ the kids. Especially while Chris is gone. Guess I need to get started on making schedules and rearranging furniture for it. I'll share when the house is ready for it all.

Ok, that's it for now. Have a good night everyone!

Reading the Bible -- in 90 Days

2009-12-23T06:01:00.000-08:00

The journey this last fall has taken me on has been hard. I felt like my life was crumbling and I couldn't get my hands closed tight enough to keep it from sliding through my fingers. I didn't blog through a lot of it -- mainly because I wasn't sure what I wanted to share with the entire world and what I would want to have shared once this time passed. I would like to say that we're past that time, but I will admit that that may be a bit premature. My marriage still needs work especially when facing a deployment (although, not near as much as it did), Alex's communication skills are getting worse, financial stress is still there (just thankfully to a lesser degree), and I'm still battling with my health as well.

Here's what's not premature though -- admitting that I will never be able to hold my hands together enough to keep it from all falling apart. There is evil in this world. Jesus came to defeat that evil, but until He comes back for the final time that evil will continue to work and will leave it's mark on my life. That doesn't mean, though, that I have to play the victim. I know that my Savior is willing to carry me through it. He's willing to work in me to defeat evil, but I have to give Him control. I like having control -- I crave it. But everytime I try to take control, it makes life worse for me. I was born with a sin-disease that taints my decisions. His guiding through my life isn't tainted by sin.

This fall when I went to turn it back over to my God, I realized that it was harder to do than I expected. For one, I was having a hard time letting go. And for another, I found that He was farther away than I had expected -- not that that was His fault. Not at all -- I shoulder that blame completely. I found that in turning control over to Him, I was also having to draw myself back into Him.

And it helped. Oh boy, did it help. Even in those areas that still need work -- and there's a lot of them -- I don't feel overwhelmed anymore. I don't feel like screaming, crying, and/or giving up. Instead I know that I'm supported by a gracious Savior that will carry me through the roughest of times.

Rough times are still ahead of us. "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart."

Chris deploys in 10 days. Of those 10 days, Chris works (all day -- no coming home at all) for 4 of them, I'm going to be gone for 2 of the days he works and 2 of the days he doesn't. So that leaves 4 days that I get to spend with him. That's going to be hard. Add the rest of life to the mix, and I know that that only way to keep my head above water right now is to rely on God. So this time, instead of waiting for things to get bad to to draw myself into God -- I'm starting where I'm already at and going deeper in.

Mom's Toolbox is starting on January 1st a campaign to read the entire Bible in 90 days and she's asking others to join in. It means committing approximately an hour a day for 90 days to reading the Bible. I'm so excited to join her on this journey. I'm excited to see the "big picture" again; I'm excited to see how the little details fit into the big picture; I'm excited to reread the parts I'd forgotten as well as being excited to reread my favorite stories. Most importantly, I'm excited to remember that whether I have physically have a husband by my side right now supporting me or not, that I have a husband in Christ that is the perfect support and strength. I know that with Him I can not only survive this deployment, but I can make it good. :)

If you're interested in joining this journey through the Bible, visit Mom's Toolbox. I'd be thrilled to have you doing it too so we can read, discuss it together, and hold each other accountable. :)

Alex Update

2009-12-17T12:22:00.000-08:00

I was right in wanting Alex's to be looked at closer. He has "borderline hearing" which may be a result of his congestion (going on week #3 of a cold) or may be more serious than that. We won't know until the congestion clears up and are hoping that that's the case by February as we have another hearing test scheduled for then. Both the doctor and audiologist agreed that he needed to at least be evaluated for speech therapy as he's very difficult to understand and much louder than necessary.

Also, because he snores and has this constant congestion, the doctor is worried that his adenoids are enlarged, so we'll be checking those in February as well. If they are enlarged, we may discuss removal of them.

In the meantime, I spent this afternoon chasing phone numbers trying to figure out who I'm supposed to really be talking to about Alex being evaluated for speech therapy. If it happens, I won't be upset as it means that we're that means that we're that much closer to losing frustrations -- and it certainly can't hurt anything. If the hearing problems AREN'T caused by his congestion and there is obviously no fluid on his ears right now, then I'm not sure where we go from there. One step at a time I suppose.

Here's Hoping

2009-12-16T05:37:00.001-08:00

That today is better than yesterday. Yesterday wasn't bad, per-sea, but it ended up w/ me being exhausted, not everything done that needed to be done, and kids being so tired that they didn't sleep well.

My brother Micah is getting married in 12 days. ♥ I love him and his bride to be, Janice, very very much and have been blessed with being asked for both Kairi and I to be in the wedding. Kairi's the flower girl and I had promised that I would supply her dress knowing how tight things can get in a wedding. Between finances being super tight, sickness, trip to Texas, and more sickness, I JUST got to go looking for her dress though. And we spent 5 hours at the mall looking. Oh my goodness, it was a nightmare. Thankfully Chris had Alex and they got to spend most of their day together and it was a good time for the, leaving me to just deal with one child at the mall, but it was still hard. And not only dealing w/ her at the mall for 5 hours, but then having to reexplain to every single cashier, older person, and the little "elves" running around the mall that we don't do Santa in our house so please don't bring him up (not to mention that Santa is parked in front of Sears, the store that we had to go through in order to get anywhere) ... it got old fast.

Browsing through the dresses with Kairi was fun, at first, though. She kept finding random dresses and going "Dis is what we want Mommy. Dis one will work. See Mommy? It's so pretty. Dis is de one. Let's buy it!" Not one of those dresses would have worked though. LOL We did eventually find her a dress. It's gorgeous and technically 2 sizes too big, but it will brush the floor and be pretty. My mom is going to make her a wrap to go with it as it's sleeveless and the wedding is outdoors (in December!).

We also, though, found hats. The Dillards at this mall isn't your normal Dillards. They call it a clearance center and basically any thing that doesn't get sold through other seasons, goes there on majorly reduced prices. While trying to find a dress that would work, Kairi spotted something. "MOMMY! DERE'S MY HATS! MY GARDEN HATS!" Garden hats??? I looked over and saw what she was talking about little girl Easter hats with pretty ribbons. She ran over before I had the chance to tell her not right now and started jamming as many on her head as she could. If I had let her, we would have walked out of the store with at least 5 hats. I made her narrow it down to 3. At $3/hat, I didn't think that that was bad, and she was sooo excited about them. It did teach me, though, that I need to get Alex a cowboy hat. He's been running around putting on the Easter hats (and Kairi's one pink cowboy hat) and shouting YEEHAW! It's adorable, but driving Chris insane. I keep hearing "YEEHAW!" "Alex, that's a girls' hat, take it off!" "No Daddy! YEEHAW! MINE!" lmbo...

Speaking of Alex, I need to get him ready. We have an ENT appointment this morning. I'm going to insist that someone listen to what I'm saying about his speech. It's driving me insane. He's not getting better. I can barely understand him. Kairi translates for us 90% of the time. And it's frustrating for Mommy, frustrating for Alex, and a general mess.

A New "Diet"

2009-12-13T06:02:00.000-08:00

Chris has battled kidney stones for a while. They hit unexpectedly and always at the worst moment. Days before Kairi was born. At 2am of the first night we were able to get a little bit of sleep for the first time in several nights because of sick kids. The morning we're supposed to be getting on a plane and heading to Texas for Chris' first vacation in 2 years. Always at horrible times.

A few months ago he saw a urologist who offered us some hope. He ran some tests and said that he would be able to determine the type of kidney stone Chris was having and that there was a possibility of being able to treat him for the kidney stones and make them at least slow down if not completely stop. Friday morning Chris had the follow up appointment. I was anxious to hear what the verdict was -- trying to be hopeful that it would be easy to deal with and not something to worry about (as depending on the type of kidney stone, it could be an indication of a kidney disease).

The final word is that his kidney stones are made up of calcium-oxalate, the most common kind of kidney stone, and the least concerning. Which is good, for the most part... nothing serious is related to these stones so it's not a real indication of anything really being wrong. What it also means, though, is that there's not a truly "easy" treatment. We're having to adjust his diet. I was definitely not opposed to doing so, but seeing the list of good vs bad foods for his diet has left me floundering. He's supposed to avoid excessive animal proteins, foods high in carbs esp whole wheat foods (there goes bread, pasta, potatoes, and rice), and anything that's considered to be high in oxalates. The oxalate list contains things such as black pepper, beans (of any sort including green beans), berries, parsley, tomatoes and all tomato products (yikes!), and on and on the list grows. Let me just say, this will take some getting used to. I feel a little selfish but am just a tiny bit glad that I only have to make this work for the next 2 1/2 weeks, then I get to go back to cooking normally. I just have to figure this out for when he gets back home.....

I don't even know where to start

2009-12-11T19:11:00.000-08:00

We made it to Texas for Chris' pre-deployment leave. It was great to spend time with family and friends. There were too many cute moments to list w/ the kids and too many fun times with family to explain. I would detail it in pictures, but the camera battery died before I had a chance to take pictures.

There was one cute moment that I can't help but tell about Kairi. Earlier that evening I got onto her for screaming out of the van's window at me and when I got inside the van she went on and on and on about how she was just trying to tell me that my phone was ringing. I recounted the incident to Chris about 5 minutes later and told him that I apparently broke her heart when she was just trying to help me. She quickly interjected into our conversation ''My heart's not broke Mommy! It can't be broke! I need it!'' ♥

Other than that we're simply counting down the days till Chris leaves. It's like 21 days or so, which breaks my heart.

Of course we're going through the stages of preparing for deployment which involves more arguing that we'd like right now. But at the same time we're trying to desperately savor each moment together. Such a hard balance to find ... between enjoying each moment together and trying to find a separate spot for each of us as we know that before long we're going to have to stand on our own in our own worlds. There are the moments when I want nothing more than for him to just be gone already, and then moments later I'm bawling at the thought of him leaving.
Emotional train wreck = me

We've started talking to Kairi about Chris' upcoming deployment. Which of course means that we're talking to Alex about it too, but he doesn't understand nearly as much as she does. In trying to bolster her connection and faith in her daddy, we're telling Kairi that Daddy is going to go fight the bad guys so that he can keep her safe -- he's protecting us from them because he's a good daddy and loves us very much. I was never truly comfortable with the idea of telling her that Daddy is fighting bad guys because 1) I didn't want to have to talk about there being bad guys at this young of an age as right now everyone is a potential friend in her mind and I love her feeling safe and secure and 2) because she already goes around ''hi-YA-ing'' random things, I didn't want to give her any reason where it might actually happen. Not only that, but she always has such a hard time understanding that there are true bad guys on shows. We were watching Snow White the other day and while she knew that the Witch did bad things, she still didn't believe that the Witch was truly bad and didn't want to the Witch to be hurt. She just doesn't understand it. And I'm not ready for her to understand it. But if I just told her that Daddy was going to work she wouldn't understand as Daddy always comes home within a day or two of working. I was also worried that once he's back that she'd think he was leaving for months at a time every time he left for work. She has extreme separation anxiety as it is, I am hoping that the idea that Daddy is keeping her safe will help it not become as severe as it could become in the next few months. But be prepared for me to post over and over again about the horrors that separation anxiety causes my daughter to commit. lol

Since coming home we have lived in the house of sick. I have asthmatic bronchitis and the kids are pouring snot from their noses and goop from their eyes. If they had a fever or cough I'd run them to the dr, but as it's just tons and tons and tons of drainage, I'm trying to wait it out. The question comes to when have I waited long enough? Alex has had goopy crusty eyes for over 1 1/2 weeks now. Decisions decisions...

I have 2 million things to do right now but being sick keeps me from being able to concentrate on things. I should make myself a list tomorrow for things to start on Monday and tick them off one by one to make sure it all gets done.

Oh! How could I forget? We flew out to Texas, but drove home. We were given my grandfather's van. It's a 2002 but with only 37k miles! It's so very nice and perfect for our family. This is great for us as it means that we're going to be able to sell the car and get a huge break in our finances. I love seeing things start to ease up for us. :)

I took a break

2009-11-10T05:09:00.000-08:00

I took a blogging break. A much needed blogging break. I thought that I was going to start up again when I posted the little note about the oven door, but things suddenly got worse instead of better. But now that we're on the upward swing, and on the count down to deployment, I'm going to try to pick it back up. So if it feels like I've avoided you or your blog, rest assured that it had nothing to do with you. Just needed to get somethings worked out is all.

At some point I may try to summarize the past month but that point probably isn't today. Instead, let me tell you about the next couple of months for us.

Chris left Sunday morning to go underway for just over 2 weeks. He'll be home (and on leave!) on the 23rd. On the 24th we're going to go see New Moon in theaters. Still looking for a babysitter for that -- so if you're available sometime that day, let me know! lol We're flying out on the 25th to Midland. I'm excited that we're headed to Midland this time instead of Longview as my parents haven't seen Chris since before his LAST deployment! That's over 2 years! My mom jokes that she won't be able to recognize him when we get there. We have a lot of people we need to see in a very short period of time. We'll take that Saturday to drive up to Lubbock to see Chris' brother and sister-in-law to see their new baby. Chris' parents will meet us there and and we'll do Thanksgiving/Christmas with all of them. We have to be back here by the 7th, so we don't have a lot of time to fit it everyone ... but we're going to try!

Then Chris starts having duty every 3 days. I hate it when there's that much duty time, it's like he's gone before he's really gone. And his final duty day is the day before he deploys, so really, our goodbyes will have to be said 2 days before his deployment. Two days doesn't usually sound like a lot, but when it's the last few moments you'll get before your husband leaves for war ... that seems like an eternity. Not to mention that we're already losing two days so that Kairi and I can be in my brothers' wedding on the 28th -- which I'm not willing to give up -- but still. It seems like more and more time is being cut into and it makes me sad.

Needless to say, the next two months will be rushed and fly by ... which parts of me are ok with that ... the sooner he leaves the sooner he's back. But part of me wishes that time would just stop moving for a while.

In the meantime, I'm making plans for what we'll do once he goes. I'm not moving back to Texas during that time (obviously as we JUST moved into the condo) so I need to have a plan of action. So far that involves working on teaching Kairi to read (she REALLY wants to learn), music lessons for the kids, possibly getting them into a marshal arts class as well, losing weight (as is the ever constant battle), and selling more Mary Kay to help afford the extra things. If I can keep us busy enough, the time should pass more quickly, and hopefully with less fits.

So that's what our future looks like. You'll notice on the top right there's a countdown for the days until Chris' deployment. If nothing else, it serves as a reminded of how important it is to cherish the few moments we have left.

The latest in our string of calamities

2009-10-14T07:08:00.000-07:00

If you've friended Chris on Facebook then you might have seen his Facebook status Saturday evening.

Christopher Pyle found out that glass oven doors shatter into pretty little pieces. FML.

Yes, my husband shattered our oven glass door. He was carrying a wet cast iron skillet when it slipped out of his hand and bounced off his leg and through the door.

I just got a call from the condo office -- I have to pay $100 to have it replaced. Fun. UGH

Our Morning Adventure

2009-10-08T08:42:00.001-07:00

It's been a rough morning. Kids acting out. Knee hurting. And then this:

See his head? He fell and busted it open on a plastic bin he stole from of my room. He got himself directly under the cut from his run in with the tv stand this summer.

It led to a good photo opp though. Here's the rest:

This one was completely blacked out, so excuse the grainyness now.

Which reminds me, I never got hair cut pictures up!

Last week Chris and I took Alex for another haircut. It'd been a while:

He came out looking like this:

Doesn't he look older and more grown up?

There's a Hole in the Bucket

2009-10-03T18:13:00.000-07:00

My mother constantly sang as I grew up. She sang gospel hymns, folk songs, snippets of popular songs she grew up listening to, and tons of kids songs. One of my favorites was "There's a hole in the bucket". Let me share it with you now.

There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza,
There's a hole.

Then fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

With what should I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I fix it, dear Liza, with what?

With a straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With a straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, with a straw.

But the straw is too long.

So cut it.

With what shall I cut it?

With an ax.

But the ax is too dull.

So sharpen it.

With what shall I sharpen it?

With the stone.

But the stone is too dry.

So wet it.

With what shall I wet it?

With water.

Where shall I get it?

From the well.

With what shall I draw it?

With the bucket.

But the bucket has a hole in it!

(http://www.songsforteaching.com/folk/theresaholeinthebucket.htm)

I always felt so badly for poor Henry. Things just didn't go well for him. Nothing worked out right for him and Liza never understood. She kept telling him to do things that wouldn't work. In my mind, I equated her with my mom. Pushy and demanding, not listening to the whole story. Poor Henry.

And then I married "Henry".

This past month of moving has given me a fresh perspective on this dear couple. Instead of seeing a woman that couldn't understand that it was impossible, I found myself feeling badly for the woman that had to describe in detail every action that had to be taken. It wasn't enough to say "fix the bucket" she had to solve every single critical thinking problem that presented itself to Henry. (For that matter, why did she even have to tell him to fix it? Shouldn't he have been able to say "There's a hole in this bucket, I should fix it."?)

You would have thought that telling Chris to pick up a load of things from the old house to bring to the new house on the way home from work every day was self-explanatory. Apparently it wasn't. I spent all last week working my tail-end off at the house trying to finish getting our things out of it and getting it clean. Chris brought home a half-full cab of things every day that he remembered, but I always heard "I didn't know what you wanted, so I just grabbed a couple more things". I kept thinking that it's not that hard to walk into the house and determine what is trash and what is not, and bring it over. Apparently I was wrong.

I realized though, that when I stand there and give him very specific short directions, and don't expect any critical thinking to come from him, that things get (semi) accomplished.

Instead of "sort through the closet so that I can take what you're not keeping to goodwill and we can move the rest", I needed to say "Go into the closet." "Pick out all the clothes you don't want." "Put those clothes in the goodwill pile." "Take the clothes you're keeping out of the closet." "Put them in my trunk."

The last 2 days Dear Henry has been running through my head. The kids just about have it memorized. I wonder if Chris understands why I keep singing it?

Regardless, we're now moved (not unpacked yet, just moved). :) I will never again enter the old house. And I'm thankful for that. It takes a huge strain off my marriage. As a sort of celebration, last night a friend stayed over with the kids while Chris and I went out. We went to a Trent Tomlinson and Joe Nichols concert. FUN! We danced and sang and loved every minute together. I even got a nice new shirt b/c I stained mine. :) I wish I had remembered the camera, but by the time I realized I didn't have it in my purse, I had already gone back inside 4 times for things I forgot to do. I think Chris would have killed me if I'd made a fifth trip.

The Great Sock War

2009-09-24T18:43:00.000-07:00

From time to time I see a therapist. Named Fred. Usually I go running into his office when I am so overwhelmed and stressed out that I am on the edge of a nervous breakdown -- or at least am at the point where any one and any thing can make me cry.

This last month I've been crying so very much, that I finally decided that if my period was even 2 days late, I was going to go pee on a stick. In other words, take a pregnancy test -- even though I have had a tubal and the chances of being pregnant are TINY. Thankfully, it was just one day late and I didn't waste money on a test.

So it was time. I went to see Therapist Fred. He always talks me through it. I gripe about kids, husband, finances, family, dog, etc. He listens, and then either makes me laugh with a bad joke or reminds me that I'm not supermom and can't save the day for every single person every single time. Apparently it's not quite sinking in because he keeps having to remind me ... but maybe one day I'll remember that.

During my gripe session I griped about the socks. You know, the dirty ones that husband leaves the floor next to the desk. The ones I've griped about before. The ones that pile up and pile up and pile up -- with me half believing the dear husband when every day he tells me that he's going to put them in the hamper that night before bed but then never being surprised when he doesn't. They're gross and disgusting. And then I finally get tired of letting them pile up and gather them up, trying to not breathe in their toxic fumes, and dump them in the washer. Yup, this was definitely worth a therapy session. ;)

Today, Therapist Fred told me hide the dirty socks under the bed. Or I could stuff them in his pillow case. (Chris...are you reading this? Because if you are, Fred said that you aren't supposed to know that he told me to do this, and so you need to pretend you didn't read it. :P And while you're at it, pick up your socks. ;) )

(FTR, Therapist Fred is not the first person to suggest such things, but it makes me laugh when my THERAPIST tells me to do so.)

Meant to get this up yesterday -- Chris interrupted me though

2009-09-23T09:53:00.001-07:00

Last one....

It's long. Just to warn ya. But super cute.

2 Videos -- 1 more coming later today

2009-09-22T10:08:00.001-07:00

I took this video in June. And then promptly forgot about it. The house is VERY messy and laundry needed to be hung (what's new?). The video is sorta long, about 4 minutes, but still cute. I was focusing on getting Alex's new words on video so that's why it seems like I'm avoiding Kairi... sorry about that.

And now a video of the house. It's still not completely unpacked, a little messy, and such, but this should give you an idea. :)

Video of the kids coming later today -- have to edit it first.

Animal Post

2009-09-22T08:44:00.001-07:00

Post one of at least two today -- videos coming
(Clickable pics)

First, the other morning after feeding the kids bowls of oatmeal and then walking into the other room, I came back to the dining room to see Aslan sitting like this:

That's MY seat at the table. And there he set, expecting his food to be served there. For the record, he's never been fed at the table, and never will be. But obviously he considers himself royalty and tried to demand it that morning.

And now for Zoe. Remember when we first got her she was much smaller than we expected:

Then the next pictures of her where these:

And now .... Here's her this past week!

Zoe is sitting a foot or so behind Alex, even though you can't tell it in this post, but it's still a decent comparison shot ... And Alex is cute. :)

A Conversation I'm Tired of Having

2009-09-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

The screaming in Kairi's bedroom had calmed down after being sent there.

M: Kairi, come down stairs please and talk to me.
K: Coming Mommy! sobbing
M: Kairi, what did you do to get in trouble?
K: I yell at Mommy.
M: Are you supposed to yell at Mommy?
K: Nooooo.
M: What happens when you yell at Mommy?
K: I get a spank'n.
M: And what else?
K: I go to bed.
M: Do you like spanking and being sent to bed?
K: NO!
M: Kairi, remember, don't yell, not even when answering my question. Now, when Mommy tells you to do something next time, are you going to yell at her or are you going to say yes ma'am and do what you're supposed to?
K: I'm going to do it.
M: Thank you, Kairi, that would make me happy. I don't like spanking you.
K: Love you Mommy. Hug?
M: I love you too Kairi. And then we hug.

Repeat entire scenario in about 20 minutes.

I'm TIRED of it.

While cooking lunch today

2009-09-14T11:23:00.001-07:00

I turned around to see

on my floor. Next to it was a puddle of pee that I didn't take a picture of. (You're welcome.) I ~~immediately~~ grabbed my camera and then went searching out the naked butt it belonged to.

Crying too Hard to Make Sense -- Just Read The Article

2009-09-12T11:33:00.001-07:00

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1212924/Doctors-said-Id-miscarriage-did-premature-baby-fought-life.html

The Post I Meant To Make Yesterday, But Ran Out of Time

2009-09-12T05:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first day in over a week that we have had consistent internet access in our home. It also happened to be the day that I had the absolute least time for being online of the last week.

Yesterday was also the anniversary of a day that has shaped and defined my life for the last 4 years. I cannot adequately describe the memories I have of that day, even though they are still as clear to me as yesterday. But I believe that I can adequately describe how it has shaped my present and my future.

September 11, 2001 rekindled a fire in my then friend, and now husband's, heart to protect and serve his country, just as multiple past generations in his family served. He suppressed that desire for the next few years because of me. But the day came when he could no longer suppress it, and with me finally giving him my "I don't like it but I'll support you no matter what" speech, he enlisted in the Navy. I don't believe that I have ever seen him as proud as he was at graduation minus our wedding day and the births of our children. He may now not enjoy his job, he may become irritated with the bureaucracy and the backwards policies, but I also know that he wouldn't be the man he is today if 9-11 had never happened.

September 11, 2001 changed my view of the world. I went from having a fairly nationally minded point of view, to being more concerned than ever before at events in countries beyond North and South America. I began to take interest in more cultures and histories than ever before. I had always enjoyed them, but at a distance before. Suddenly, I found myself longing to spend time in those cultures and with those people. I want to spend time in Africa and India. I want to go to China and Korea. I want to spend time in the Philippines. I want to go to the Middle East. I want to see the land that my faith originated in, as well as begin to understand and relate to the people there more than ever. I still want to travel through South America, especially Honduras, and preach and teach there as well. For now, those plans are on hold. But I know without a doubt that one day I'll begin my travels. And every time I set off for another unknown place, I'll know that it began on 9-11.

September 11, 2001 did not just shape my current circumstances, and my dreams of travel for the future, but it reshaped my view point of the Islamic faith. It went to being something very distant and foreign to me, to being something that I want to understand and learn more about. Now, before I continue, I would like to point out that I stand very firm in my faith. I'm not in danger of converting (rather, this desire to learn more does nothing but strengthen my faith). But I am on a constant quest to understand more those that share the origins of my faith. I have so many questions about why they do certain things, why they believe in certain ways, etc. And I'm learning more and more every day. I'm learning that the stereotypes I believed for so many years may be accurate for a few, but in the lives of many they are just flat out wrong. I'm learning that while Christians often point to Muslims as examples of people strong in their faith, that Muslims often point to Christians as examples of people taking care of and loving on other people. I'm learning that there are many Muslim women who are much stronger and opinionated than I ever imagined. And I'm learning that people are simply people with problems and arguments and prejudices, no matter what their faith. "We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" -- the only difference in Muslims and I are that we place our hope of redemption of that sinful nature in much different places. Which is probably what leads the Christian faith to being so much more willing to help each other -- we are compelled to by the love Christ has shown for us, rather than by mandate. I know that my life is richer for the knowledge I now have, and I know that my faith is stronger based off of what I learned. And without a doubt I know that I would not have dived into this pool of knowledge and understanding, if 9-11 had never happened.

September 11, 2001 shook our nation to its core. It reminded us as Americans that we are vulnerable; it reminded us that we need to place our trust in God (oh how quickly that was forgotten though!); it reminded us that we needed to love and support each other in this country (something else we should be reminded of on a daily basis). But the reaches of that day went much farther than just to touch our nation, it touched individual lives. I'm certain that I'm not the only person, or even one of a few people, that can trace direct events and changes in their future back to that day. Instead, I'm quite certain that nearly every person that can remember that day has a story to tell about how 9-11 changed things for them.

So now I ask, what impact did it have on YOUR life?

You Coming Too Daddy?

2009-09-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned before, we're moving soon. We originally wanted a house for a yard for the kids and dog, but after realizing that we could have a nicer place while paying less we agreed to look at condos as well. And we found the perfect place. My only regrets are 1)no yard, and 2)we're moving away from amazing neighbors, but that would have had to happen regardless. Either way, I'm still really excited to start moving into the new place -- we start today, HURRAY!

We've been talking about this around the kids, but had yet to actually address the situation with them. Don't get me wrong, they saw the houses with us -- but Kairi seemed to think we were just visiting lots of new places to play. So last night we decided to specifically tell Kairi about it while we were eating dinner. The conversation broke my heart. Here's how it went:

M: Kairi, how would you like to move to a new house?
K: Ummm...
M: You would get a new bedroom and a new bathroom and you would go up and down stairs everyday!
K: Stairs! Yay! I like stairs Mommy.
M: I know you do! It'll be fun!
K: But Mommy, you comin'?
M: Of course baby girl.
K: In a squeaky, almost scared voice, looking seriously at Daddy -- we could tell she was worried.Daddy, you gonna come too?
D: Yes Baby! I'm coming too!
M: Kairi, we're all going. You, me, Daddy... We're all going.
K: Oh no! You not leaving Alex!
M: No! We're not leaving Alex. It'll be you, me, Daddy, and Alex. We're all going.
K: Poor Zoe puppy.
M: What's wrong w/ Zoe?
K: She don't get to go.
M: Yes she will! Kairi, you, Alex, Mommy, Daddy, Zoe AND Aslan are all going to move to a new house. TOGETHER. We're moving together. We all get new bedrooms. And stairs to walk on. And a new living room. And a new kitchen.
K: Ok! I like stairs!
M: I know you do baby. And this is going to be a lot of fun.
K: But Mommy ... what about my house? Where it going?
M: It's going to stay right here. We're going to take our things out of it and move them to our new house.
K: My poor house. Mommy, it gonna miss me.
M: Baby, it'll be ok. And we're going to get a new and more fun house!
K: But my friends are gonna miss me Mommy. Referring to the neighbors I'm sure.
M: Kairi, your friends are going to come see us in our new house. And we'll go see them. I promise.

The conversation went on and on and on like this. She became more and more happy about the stairs and would tell us that she wanted to go up and down the stairs a lot. But then suddenly she'd get concerned -- most of that time it would revolve around making sure that Daddy was moving with us. We frequently heard "Daddy, you wanna come with me? I'm going to a new house. Wanna come? Please?"

Navy life sometimes takes a toll on a child that has a hard time dealing with change. One change and she's suddenly terrified that she's going to lose her Daddy. I hope that moving with Daddy helps her know that he's not leaving her...

Picture Post!

2009-08-28T08:20:00.000-07:00

(Clickable Pics)

Who DOESN'T wear snow hats with kimonos? Kairi thinks everyone should. :)

Say Cheese!

Kairi peeled her lips and then ate mustard. This is after the swelling had gone down significantly.

Ladies' Victorian High Tea Party

Kairi and Sarah love each other.

Look -- Alex has a tiny bit of chunk on him!

Sorry it's a bit blurry, but I love his smirk. :)

And finally, the puppy. I swear she's doubled in size since we got her. And she's gone from the sweet calm puppy to a hyperactive bouncing off the walls puppy that doesn't rest until she crashes. At least we know she's happy here, right? :)

Rocky Road

2009-08-27T07:04:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have been rough. We knew that things were going to be tight this payday, but we didn't know that we were going to be scrounging for grocery money. After having an unauthorized debit leave our account -- and cause a few bounced checks -- we were in a panic.

Add that to needing a new place to live. (Have I mentioned that my landlord put my house on the market without informing me first?) And needless to say I've been stressed.

But things are starting to come together again. It looks like bills WILL be paid -- I've never enjoyed paying a bill more than I did this morning. LOL

And we've found a place to live! We're submitting our application today for a condo. It's NICE. And it will save us almost $300/mo! Plus, the kitchen. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. Seriously. Here, see for yourself:

I've seen the kitchen of the unit we're moving into, and yes -- it's THAT nice. :D I'm extremely excited about the move.

But here's the best news, Chris' deployment date has been pushed back! Instead of leaving 2 days before Thanksgiving, he'll be leaving sometime in January! We're going to Texas for the holidays and my brother's wedding as a family, thanks to this. It does mean that my grandmother isn't coming out when she planned on it, but I have to say that I'll take the trade. I am so happy that my husband will be home for a little longer!

So during my blogging-absence, things really have been like Rocky Road ice cream for us. Looks rough, but in the end God DOES provide (and has people help provide), and that is the sweetest flavor of all.

Oh, and maybe I should name my blog posts when I'm not fasting. Everything I thought of was related to food somehow........

More Dressup

2009-08-21T05:23:00.000-07:00

This morning Kairi wanted to be a princess again. Instead, we're working on the Japanese princess look. Btw, this was supposed to be her Halloween costume last year. Can you see why it wouldn't work? ;)

The Diva Herself

2009-08-20T10:44:00.001-07:00

Did a fashion show for me today. :)

Excuse the pirate tattoo -- We all made mistakes in our younger (1 hour ago) pirate days in order to fit well into the pirate life style, right? :D

Later I turned An American Tale on for the kids as Kairi is convinced that the Fivel I gave to brother shouldn't be named "Fivel". She wants to name him MooseyMouse, and I just can't go along with that. So today was the day to educate her. We watched Fivel. But as all emotional things go for the girl, she became near tears within minutes of the movie beginning. I was able to catch these beautiful expressions of sorrow on her face as she mourned for Fivel's lost family.

Of course she was thrilled at the end when he found his daddy. I found that she was much more worried about finding the daddy than the mommy .... hhmmmmm. I'm certain that that's at least in part due to being able to relate to not being able to find her daddy sometimes. Although, she did make me feel better at lunch today. We were eating when she suddenly looked at me and goes "Mommy's da best!". And then she proceeded to tell me that I'm the best at everything. :D She knows how to make my heart feel warm and fuzzy.

(Reminder: Clickable pics)

Today's Second Post -- Kairi's Birthday Party!

2009-08-18T06:53:00.001-07:00

(Remember, clickable pics)

Less than one hour before naptime (which ended just as the party started), I found Alex like this. Kairi had not been home and therefore can not be blamed. LOL

He was mad at me for taking his picture, so here he is at the start of a fit.

And it begins!

Kairi picked out her bike and helmet/pads with Daddy that morning. She was so excited that she refused to take the helmet off! The next day I had to bribe her to get it to stay at home instead of her wearing it to church.

My handsome pirate!

Chris bought "the coolest kiddie pool ever!" for the kids. They seemed to agree. :)

I love her tongue sticking out here.

He's so cute -- and he knows it.

No, I didn't clean her face before presents. Yes, I probably should have, but I just didn't think about it.

What a diva!

More than just a little tired here.

I just love her chubby little feet.

After the party ended, the neighbors continued to hang out, and we did hamburgers and hot dogs. I love their girls. :)

Meet Our Newest Family Member!

2009-08-18T06:06:00.001-07:00

Meet Zoe!

She joined our family one week ago tomorrow. She is part border collie - lab, and part something -- maybe dachshund? Zoe has proven to be adorable, lovable, sweet, calm (most of the time) and a general joy to have in our house. I wasn't excited about having 3 things to potty train, but she's doing great regardless. She is very intelligent and has already begun to realize where she's supposed to potty. :)

When she first came home she was very timid. She only wanted to spend time with Chris and I and definitely didn't want to leave our bedroom, but she's warming up to the kids and even made a special appearance at the birthday party Saturday. :)

We're very excited to have her.

Being Crafty

2009-08-03T14:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes being a mommy means being crafty. Not crafty as in making cute little things crafty ... because as hard as I try I'm usually not that great at that part. I mean being crafty as in being sneaky and a tiny bit manipulative. That I'm good at. :)

Kairi's turned potty training into a power struggle. She doesn't go because she doesn't want to and I can't make her. It's all about control with her and this is something that she's in control of. I have come to realize that I was feeding into it and Saturday I decided that I'm done. I'm done with the fights. I'm done with the begging and pleading and encouraging and bribing. I'm just done.

Alex on the other hand is extremely excited about potty training. He tells me when he has a wet/dirty diaper. He asks to sit on the potty constantly. And he loves the attention that comes with the potty. :)

So I've changed my focus. A friend suggested this and while at first I thought it wouldn't work, I'm now officially convinced. I'm potty training Alex. I'm ignoring Kairi unless she asks to go potty. She's in diapers. He'll be in underwear as soon as I can buy some. He's the big boy. He's the only one I'm pouring attention onto. He's the one that I'm spending extra time with on the potty. And surprisingly enough, Kairi is really encouraging him when he's on the potty too. She tells him that tee tee comes out and that you wipe and flush after it. When he goes in his diaper and tells me, she stands over him while I take his diaper off and talks about how germs go in the potty, not in diapers. We started this morning.

Twice this afternoon Kairi has removed her dry diaper to sit on the potty! Of course when she does I make a huge production of it and jump up and down and cheer. :) But as soon as it's over, I go back to focusing on Alex going in the potty. I have a feeling that this is really going to work. :D And as soon as Alex actually goes in the potty (still haven't caught it), I bet that it clicks and he'll be doing great.

Sometimes when you're a mommy, it takes being crafty to get things done. And I, for one, am NOT afraid to do so. :)

What a Day...

2009-08-01T17:16:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will write/finish a sweet sweet post about how much I love my baby girl.

She's no longer a baby. She's 3!

But today, I'm a little overwhelmed with my evening and can't concentrate on how much I love my girl (even though I REALLY do) because of all the chaos and acting out of the day.

First of all, Kairi's in a defiant stage. No matter what I try to do, she tells me no. Even if it's something that she asked for moments ago. "No, I don't like it." "No, I don't want to." "No, not like that." "No." "No." "No."

So just getting out the door this evening was a challenge. But I'm planning her birthday party, and we HAVE to have invitations. We have to hand out these invitations tomorrow. I had to get to the store and buy something to use. And since Daddy's out of town again, it was Mommy + 2 cranky kiddos.

I finally got her in the car and we were on our way. There was a bus two cars in front of me. Suddenly, no where near what I thought was a bus stop ... the bus stopped, causing the car behind it and me to have to come to a screeching halt. If I had expected to have to stop right then, I probably wouldn't have been looking for the party store on the side of the road instead of the cars in front of me. But I didn't expect the stop, so I was looking at the side of the road instead of in front of me. So I almost hit the cars already stopped. Thankfully there was an empty right hand turn lane next to me, so I jumped in it and we were all ok ... but it definitely put me on edge.

We finally found the party store. It's 5 till 5. I pull Kairi out of the car ... the only reason she's cooperating is because someone bribed her with the promise of a balloon. I really shouldn't do that ...... Alex of course is always bubbling and happy, remaining completely unaffected by Kairi's poor attitude so he just walks along. We walk up to the door. All the lights are on. Filled balloons are all over the store. Kairi immediately sees the one she wants.

And it's locked. The store officially closes at 5 on Saturdays. And even though it's not quite 5 o'clock; even though employees can see my daughter bawling because she wants a balloon; even though all I needed were 3 packs of invites and 2 balloons -- no one is letting us in. Thanks a whole freaking lot.

On the drive to the store, I had noticed that there was a fabric store in the same shopping center. ~~I drug~~ We walked down to it. They're closed too.

Now Kairi is in hysterics. She's screaming no, trying to hit and kick me, and in general pissed off. I strapped her into the carseat where she started throwing everything she could reach at me. Alex climbs into his seat, lets me buckle him, and then turns to Kairi to ask "You ok?" Even Alex, the not quite 2 year old, could see the insanity of her behavior.

I decided to go to Target. There are 2 Targets in equal driving distance, but one would require going over the bridge and back by the bus stop in the middle of no where. I decided that I had had enough run ins with buses and would rather not cross the bridge. Finally, Kairi was no longer screaming at me. Instead, she was singing sweetly and telling me how happy she was.... And then it happened. Another bus. Stopped in the middle of the road. But at least this time at an actual labeled bus stop. I stopped in plenty of time. But the bus is still waiting. After checking all around me, I pull around the bus. I'm in my own lane. Almost past the bus. And someone waiting at a median decides that he has plenty of time to pull out in front of me. Except he didn't. He almost swiped off my front end as he pulled out. I laid on the horn. The bus lays on the horn.

Kairi started crying again.

We finally got into Target. I immediately asked Kairi if she needed to go potty. I begged her to go potty. I took her into the bathroom even though she told me no, to see if I could change her mind about the potty. But no, she didn't want to go.

So we started our shopping. Diapers, wet wipes, clothes for the birthday girl, a dress for Mommy to try on. Inside the dressing room, I smell something. Then I see it ... her jeans are SOAKED. UGH

I quickly change back into my regular clothes and run to check out. But then I realize that I still haven't found invitations (since I can't get them at the party store, nor can NOT hand some out tomorrow) and I haven't bought cookie and cupcake supplies.

And that's when I decided it. Kairi pooped in her panties. She knew she needed to go. I gave her plenty of chances to go. She chose to go in her own panties. She was stuck in them until it was convenient for me to change them. Yeah ... probably not the best mommy moment ever, but I stand by my decision.

I picked out invitations. Kairi wants a pirate party. Chris wants Kairi to have a pirate party. He's helping plan said pirate party. So I need pirate invites if possible. I finally found them ... but they're obviously boy invitations. I mean, there's a little boy on them. Oh well ... they're invites and by this point, I could care less.

Then on to the grocery section. Got a cake mix (because I am way too tired to make it from scratch tonight), frosting, and Diet Mountain Dew. (Hey, they were on sale....)

Back to check out.

Kairi melts down in the check out line because Mommy won't buy candy.

We finally get checked out. The cashier could tell I was frazzled by this point. He offered his sympathy and made the security guard let me into the bathroom with my already paid for merchandise even though the security guard didn't want me to go in. But hey, I just bought these clothes, and Kairi needs to put them on because I am NOT smelling that mess all the way home.

I got Kairi changed. Then changed Alex's diaper. He was still happy and bubbly and in overall great spirits. Thank God. Then I smelled something.

She pooped in her clothes AGAIN!!!

Changed her again.

Made it out to the car. Realized that it's 6:30. How can it be 6:30?!?

Kairi starts: "Mommy...I soooooooooooooo hungwy. I needa eat right now. Now Mommy! I needa eat! Alex is hungwy too. We needa eat! PLEASE!"

I looked up in my still parked car to see on the other side the parking lot a cafe. We pulled in. It's Sierra's Southwest Grill featuring "Fast Fresh Food". Whatever -- just let me eat.

They truly were fast and fresh... seriously amazing food. And then it happened. Kairi pulled her plate too close to the edge of the table and knocked it all onto the floor. Half of it went into her lap, which I saved... But it all started another crying fit. Seriously ... how many has it been in the last 2 1/2 hours now???

She finally stopped crying when I offered to go get her salsa. The girl loves her salsa. She started by dipping her chips into it. But that was too slow apparently, so she changed to her fork. That didn't work either. The next thing I knew she picked up the mini-bowl of it and started drinking! Then asked for more the moment she ran out.

I had had enough. I grabbed the brownies that I had bought to substitute for birthday cake and promised the kids that if they got in the car right that second, that I would give them cake. Alex was running. The boy moved faster than I have ever seen him move. Kairi, on the other hand, was just pissed off because she wasn't getting her brownie RIGHT NOW. She sat on the sidewalk in front of the car refusing to move.

That is, she refused to move until she saw Alex eating his brownie in his carseat. Then she ran.

We're now home. The kids are in bed (after another poop accident in her panties). And I just want to go to bed.

Instead, I get to fill out invites, clean the kitchen, bake cookies and cupcakes, reclean the kitchen, prepare food for the cp lunch tomorrow, and wash all the poopy clothes from today.

God, please make tomorrow better. Please?

Irrational Fears

2009-07-31T04:46:00.000-07:00

For the most part, I consider myself a laid back mom. What will happen will happen and all I can do is trust God to take care of her. When Kairi was first born we were able to battle through nearly loosing her to starvation and multiple overheating cars in 105 degree weather. I even spent multiple hours in a strangers vehicle with the baby and my cat on the side of a highway. It was scary stuff. And now the rest doesn't seem so big and important.

Now, don't get me wrong, I still baby proofed. I watch food contents. I had my kids rear facing as long as I could (ie until Chris made me turn them around). I still watch them like a hawk when we're in unfamiliar territory. I take care of my kids. But I don't obsess over it. They can play in rooms by themselves, I just accept the fact that it's going to mean extra cleaning. If I have to leave for a second to grab a towel while they're bathing, I don't panic. They can play in the backyard w/ me inside (but always right next to the open door), as long as I can hear them and have checked the yard first for snakes and/or random objects the neighbors through over the fence during their last party.

I'm comfortable with all the things I listed above ... or else I wouldn't list them obviously. I completely and totally trust that God to take my children through the bumps, scratches, and occasional er visits. I know that my kids are going to be ok, and that they have to learn independent play. And I know that these things don't make me a bad mother. So I trust God, and for the most part just let it be.

But I have the absolute most irrational fear ever. Giving Alex peanut butter.

Kairi has an intolerance to peanuts. At least, she did. The first 2 times she touched a peanut shell she had hives come up where she had touched them to her face. That was 2 years ago. We have spent the last 2 years avoiding contact with peanuts. At her 2 year well-visit we discussed it with Dr Weiss. He agreed that if it was an allergy it was a mild one, but he wanted us to slowly (VERY slowly) introduce peanuts to her environment and eventually to her so that we would know the extent of her intolerance/allergy ... but to always do it when I could get her to an er quickly, just in case.

She tolerated all the introductions to peanuts well. I was allowing peanut products to stay in the house (and I even ate a few) while only requiring that Chris be sure he not give her anything without reading the label. Then when I was so sick 2 weeks ago, I suddenly found her shoving one of my cereal bars into her mouth that she had sneaked out of the pantry. Yes, they were "Almond" bars, but they have ground peanuts in them. I was in a panic. At which point Chris goes "Oh, I didn't know they had peanuts in them. I thought that it was only almond. I gave her one yesterday." First, I threw a fit because he didn't read the label. But then it hit me, she didn't react to it. She ate a peanut product and was ok. Now, I'm not giving her peanut butter yet. But slowly we're going to continue introducing her to peanut products ... not quite as slowly as before. And she's going to be ok. So it's official, it was an intolerance, not an allergy.

Then recently the recommended age for introducing peanut products changed. It was stated that most current research indicates that waiting longer periods of time to introduce peanuts and other likely allergens was NOT improving the child allergy stats so therefore they are not preventing allergies. And researchers in Britain have begun to develop therapies for children with severe allergies to peanuts which they're hoping to extend to other common food allergens where they slowly introduce children with extreme allergies to the they're allergic to until their bodies are capable of tolerating the allergen.

And finally, Alex has been exposed to, touched, and even ingested food with peanut products. He hasn't shown a single hint of an allergy or intolerance to peanuts.

So after all that's been said, will some one PLEASE tell me why in the world every time I think that I might make him a peanut butter sandwich to try I start to feel an overwhelming panic? I feel like my whole chest suddenly seizes up and I'm no longer able to think rationally. I can in no way make myself give him a peanut butter sandwich. I know that the chances of him having a reaction to them are less than 1%. I know that even if he does have a reaction I can call 911 and the ambulance will be here in less than 10 minutes (it took 4 when I had to call one for Chris).

I have NEVER experienced this kind of panic before. I didn't even panic this badly when Kairi was eating the cereal bar. Usually my panic happens AFTER an event. And it makes no sense. His doctor has even started encouraging me to let him have some peanut butter. But I can't get over this fear. Maybe I need Chris to make the sandwich for me and feed it to him when I'm not home..... But then I'll be in hysterics while I'm not home.

Ok, so that's my irrational parenting fear -- feeding my son that I already know isn't allergic to peanuts, peanut butter. What's yours? Please tell me that you have one and that I'm not alone in this stupid cycle......

It's Like Riding a Bicylce ... Right?

2009-07-25T05:03:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since I blogged, that I've set here staring at the computer screen for the last several minutes trying to figure out what in the world I'm going to write about. I browsed through Twitter trying to remember the things I mini-blogged about, just in case one of those struck my interest. I looked at my profile on Facebook and realized that there were a few people that I forgot to reply to. I looked at my email and my phone for clues of things that have happened and been of import. But none of those helped me.

I almost wrote a blog about tv watching. Which would be an interesting one for sure.... But I just don't have it put together in my head yet.

So instead, can I just use this moment to gripe about living with uncertainties? In general, I'm a planner. I need to have specific times for events, specific plans for the day, schedules, time to prepare myself for future events, etc. Kairi's a lot like me in that, except with Kairi she has complete meltdowns if not given the proper preparations -- I just cry or shut down emotionally.

I had to come to rely on schedules when in elementary school. I have ADD, but instead of going through the process of being diagnosed and later medicated (which my parents did not want), my teacher believed that it was mild enough in me that she might be able to help me. And she DID help. Together, we forced me to become a planner. If I don't have a plan, nothing gets done. If I don't have specific goals, nothing is accomplished and I flounder for hours/days/years.

Parenting is hard for me because it's hard to plan. And then when I DO plan, I over-plan and then have way too much scheduled. Finding that balance is hard for me. I need to have a loose schedule.

Beyond that, though, I need to have an idea what tomorrow, the next week, the next few months will hold for me and my family. I need to have a schedule of when people are going to be here and when they're going to leave. I need time to prepare, whether that's physically prepare, or mentally, or emotionally. Give me that time to prepare.

So when the Navy tells us one day that Chris isn't leaving again until September. Then changes it's mind and says, no he's leaving tomorrow for 3 weeks. And then postpones that 3 week period everyday saying "not until tomorrow" ... Can you imagine how frustrating that can be for me?

I spent the first 2 days of "he's leaving tomorrow" crying. Mainly because I hadn't had time to prepare myself for him to leave. But also because when they're in the military, you can't help but worry when your spouse has to leave within 24 hours.

By day 3, I stopped crying over it, and felt like it'd be better if it just happened. I had prepared myself for him to leave. I planned my meals around him not being home. I planned my next few weeks around him not being around. Suddenly he WAS going to be home, and I wasn't sure how to handle it anymore.

Now we're playing the 24 hour on-call game. If he gets a call from the ship, he leaves within 24 hours. If he doesn't get a call from the ship, things like duty and normal work days continue.

So that leaves me with the question. What in the world do I do about Kairi's birthday party?

No matter what, the day OF her birthday he's not going to be home. He either has duty that day, or will be out to sea. Either way, no party that day. So we were going to have her party on the 8th. A friend of Chris' is making our cake. It's a pirate themed party. Then when we were first told that he was leaving for 3 weeks, we changed our minds and started planning for the 15th. Except, now if he leaves, he'll be gone then too.

What in the world do I do?!?

I can prepare myself emotionally for him to leave. I am prepared. The morning he leaves I'll cry for about 5 minutes by myself in my bedroom, then I'll hear Alex call for me, I'll stop crying and face the day. I'll be happy and content knowing that whatever happens, my children love me and need me. And we'll probably go to the park that day to make it pass faster.

I can prepare myself mentally for him to leave knowing that I have plans in place for activities while he's gone. We certainly won't be sitting around the house all day.

I AM prepared physically for him to leave -- all the things he'd need are washed and ready for him to take. He has all the other things he'll want to take with him (books, video games, etc) ready. I even have most of our grocery shopping done so that I don't have to run to the store with both kids very often while he's gone. Shoot, I've even pilfered the credit card from his wallet so that if there is an emergency, I have it.

But this party thing ... I feel at a loss to prepare for. And it's important because this is the first year she's KNOWN that she has a birthday and that that means a party. This is the first year that she's picked out her party theme. This is the first year that Chris has helped me plan the party.

So I'm floundering again. I'm avoiding planning in hopes that everything clears up all on it's own -- the sooner the better. I'm pretending that she doesn't turn 3 in ONE WEEK. And I'm avoiding phone calls from family that discuss what to get her for her birthday so that I don't have to think about it.

A Small Break in Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

2009-07-19T07:14:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm on a "break" from blogging, but not because I want to be. See, sitting up for more than a half hour at a time or so sends me into a massive asthma attack.

One week ago Saturday, I went to an urgent care center because the base clinic couldn't get me in. I had bronchitis and probably strep. Bronchitis was causing my asthma. So I was given a new inhaler, prednisone, and a Z-pack. Sunday morning I woke up feeling better than I had in a week. We went to church. Came home, had a great time. Monday I wasn't feeling any better, but not really worse either. By Tuesday, though, I was worse than I'd been on Saturday. My throat felt like it was swollen closed. I had absolutely no voice. When I called and asked for an appointment on base, I had to shout to be heard, and even then ended up repeating myself multiple times. I couldn't take a breath without coughing. They worked me into the schedule.

Unfortunately, that meant seeing Dr Evil. Ok, so she's not evil, but I still hate her. I hate every time I have to see her. It's not that she's not a good doctor, because she is; it's that she HATES children. And treats me like crap for bringing them with me.

After a small confrontation where Dr Evil wanted me to put the kids in day care for a few days so that I could get some rest, I left the office with another inhaler, new antibiotics, and having had a nebulizer treatment. I got home and Chris called shortly thereafter. He'd been with the ship in Virginia and just happened to have time to call me. I told him about Dr Evil wanting me to be on bedrest. He listened to me cough. He said that he was going to see if he could come home. It was a frustrating (for me because I didn't know what all was going on) process but he did eventually get a flight home the next day.

So Chris has been home since Wednesday evening. It has been heavenly. Ok, so maybe that's a stretch, but it's been great. For the most part I've stayed in bed trying to relax and rest. He's kept the kids from killing each other and breaking things. Now, my house could be declared a disaster zone and the moment I can breathe deeply without coughing I'm declaring it to be a state of emergency in order to get this place clean. But at least he's here. And I can rest. And he's here until Thursday, because he's on leave for a while. :) So maybe once I'm better we'll be able to take the kids to the beach and a couple other (free) places.

And I AM getting better. Two days ago there would have been no way for me to sit up this long and type this out. It would have given me a headache from lack of oxygen.

We'll return to regularly scheduled programming in a few days.

A Knock at My Door

2009-07-13T17:20:00.000-07:00

The kids and I were gathered around the table eating a nice calm dinner and thoroughly enjoying each others' company when suddenly there was a banging on the front door, shattering the peace in the house.

Ok, ok.

So we weren't gathered around the table. We were plopped in the living room watching another episode of Pinky Dinky Doo or some such nonsense. Kairi was sitting in the middle of the floor crying because I refused to let her eat french fries until she ate the hot dog she asked for. Alex was frustrated because his straw poked a hole through his Sonic cup, so I was trying to pour his drink into a sippy as fast as I could while holding the phone between my shoulder and head, trying not to cough into my mother-in-law's ear but still keep the conversation going. And in my head the mantra "early bedtime early bedtime early bedtime" played on repeat.

When the front door began to shake from the pounding it received on the other end, it didn't shatter our peace. If anything, it made the house as close to silent as it had been since naptime ended 4 hours earlier. The only sound was now Pinky Dinky Doo's song ... a mere murmur in the background.

I put the phone down. Gave the sippy to Alex. And walked to the front door. I chained it before opening it up -- thankful the moment I had the door cracked open that I had thought of the chain.

Standing on the other side of my door, he was furious. I could see the vibrations of his anger roll off of his body. Fists, covered in black leather motorcycle gloves with silver studs, were balled up at his sides and were the very first things I noticed. Clad in all leather riding gear, leather riding boots, and a pair of sunglasses, his bare arms underneath his leather vest displayed large toned muscles, and were again flexed as if he was trying to keep his anger under control. His legs were planted shoulder length apart as if to say that nothing would move him from his task. I had no idea who this man was, or what he wanted, but I knew he was mad, and I knew that he meant business.

I raised my eyebrows, determined to stay calm, "Yes?"
"I need to talk to Michael. NOW."
"Michael?" I was bewildered. The only Michael I know lives in Texas, and is my dad. I couldn't imagine someone coming to MY house looking for him. Not when I'm in Florida.
"Yes. MICHAEL. Is he home?"
"No sir. He's not home because he doesn't live here."
"Where is he?"
"Umm...I don't know. I don't know a Michael. At least not one that you would be looking for. The only one I know is over 1000 miles away in Texas, and is my father."
"So what you're telling me is that a Michael Harmon doesn't live here? What you're telling me is that you don't know Michael Harmon at all?"
"Yes sir. That's what I'm saying."
At this point Kairi pushed between me and the door to see who was there. When he looked at her, the anger melted from his body. He smiled at her and then smiled at me.
"Sir, I'm sorry, but only my husband, Christopher, and I live here with our children. There's no one else here."
And then it hit me. Michael Harmon. I get his mail all the time. Michael Harmon. I think that he's the guy that there was a notice for on the door of the house when I first moved in from the local credit union. I think that he was in a lot of trouble with them at the time.

The man, whose name I never caught so we'll call Mr Bike, and I began to chat. Michael had backed over Mr Bike while he was on his motorcycle in the Walmart parking lot. Michael had traded information Mr Bike, including insurance info, driver's license numbers, and addresses, and had gotten Mr Bike to agree to not contact the insurance company unless it was absolutely necessary. But then Michael did not return Mr Bike's phone calls. Michael started trying to dodge having to pay for bike repairs and medical bills. Mr Bike isn't putting up with it.

So today, Michael Harmon, whoever you are, Mr Bike is calling your insurance company. Mr Bike is also calling the DMV and Sheriff's office to report that you have an address on your license has been wrong for at LEAST 14 months, but probably longer. And when you get into trouble, Michael Harmon, I won't feel badly for you. I watched Mr Bike limp away from my house, barely able to crawl up onto his bike that's beaten up on just one side, and then drive away. And it hit me, that one day that might be MY Mr Bike (aka Chris) that you run over. When that happens, you'll have to face ME. And it also hit me, that if you end up getting into trouble, and a warrant goes out for your arrest, that it is MY house that JSO is going to be searching first, and THAT my friend, won't fly.

Kairi's Biggest Fan

2009-07-11T17:25:00.000-07:00

I have always heard that Mamas are always their child's biggest fan. They will never give up on them or grow tired of watching their children do something they love. They will cheer their kids on through all obstacles, never giving up on them, never growing tired of the act, and always loving them unconditionally.

Ok, so let's be honest here. I am NOT my daughter's biggest fan. I mean, in a sense I am. I will be all those things listed above, except for the "never growing tired of the act". See, I DO grow tired of watching Kairi's performance from time to time. That sounds terrible. Let me explain.

She stands on the hearth singing her heart out for hours on end. And I love it. Except, when I've heard Twinkle Twinkle for the 162nd time in the last hour, I really don't feel like cheering and clapping as loudly as I did the first 161 times.

But I don't feel as badly about that anymore. Because she DOES have a fan that will cheer as loudly the 162nd time as the 1st.

Her biggest fan is Alex. And when I'm more interested in the Bubble Burst game on my phone than cheering again, Alex will sit on the couch watching her dance and sing, and then he will clap and "woohoo!" for her as loudly as he did the last time. Then he will turn to me and tell me "Nonny! Cap Niree! WooHoo!" (Translated: Mommy! Clap for Kairi! WooHoo!)

He always cheers for her, believes in her, supports her, and will even feed her bites of pizza when she's feeling like too much of a diva to feed herself. (Yes, tonight she told him to feed her her pizza b/c it was too yucky for her to touch, and he obliged.)

He follows her around, mimics her, loves on her, and picks on her. Nothing makes either one happier than their sibling. They even have their own language.

In the following pictures, my kids have dirty faces, and dirty clothes. They had just eaten their pizza and neither do a good job at wiping their own faces. I usually put up with their bad job (because at least they tried!) until either we leave or it's bedtime.

Either way ... here's proof of their love for each other:

I've Tried

2009-07-07T06:13:00.000-07:00

I've tried and tried and tried for the last few days to write something interesting for you. I've tried and tried to talk about what's going on in our lives. And I probably have about 4 blogs half written and saved ... but I can't go back and finish them. I don't know why, but I just can't.

Instead I'm going to summarize the last few days and then see where my mind goes from there:

Saturday Alex woke up with a cold. I didn't give it much thought other than to be annoyed that he had a cold in freaking July and to re-raise one side of his bed. Then Sunday night he threw up and started running a 102 fever. We took a bath together, gave him some tylenol, and neither of us slept most of the night. But the fever did go down and he stopped vomiting.

Chris had yesterday off, thank God. After Alex's nap he woke up really hot. I gave him some motrin, but he just got hotter and hotter. I finally forced him to let me take his temp again. 105.4! Chris immediately started drawing bath water again. We jumped in it fully clothed. He got Kairi dressed and a diaper bag packed. And as soon as he had everything ready, Alex and I got out of the tub and into the truck. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. He could barely stay conscious on the way to the hospital. I told Kairi to keep Alex awake if she could .... and she tried so hard. Finally she looked at him and goes "What wrong wit you? Talka me Alex! Talka me! I love you." :( That broke my heart and made me love her so very much.

They gave him a tylenol suppository. A lady from church showed up and took Kairi to her house where Kairi stayed most of the night playing with her and her husband. They are such a great couple ... both kids adore them.

At the hospital, they did discuss the possibility of keeping Alex overnight because we couldn't get him to pee. But we put a diaper on him finally (over the thing they were trying to catch his pee with) and the moment the diaper went on he peed -- he was just holding it!

Oh, and I pissed the dr off b/c I refused Amoxicillin. The last time he took it he vomited and had diarrhea for the next 2 days, I'm not putting him through that when he already has pneumonia! Instead, he's been given Zithromax.

So we're home. Alex slept through the night fairly well, only waking up a few times to ask for something to drink. Chris has to work today, but thinks that since Alex is sick that he'll be able to talk them into letting him off early to come home and help out. Especially since he has duty tomorrow night and then leaves again Friday.

Alex is going to be alright. We're watching him pretty closely. Trying to keep him calm and still, and of course hydrated. We have a follow-up tomorrow to make sure that he is getting better.

So let's hope that this isn't a tradition in the making....last year for my birthday Kairi threw up the whole day. The year before that I had a cold and was giant pregnant so overall miserable. This year Alex has pneumonia. I'm praying that next year it isn't Chris' turn. Otherwise, I'm going to start banning birthdays. ;)

Eta: Crap! Now K's nose is running just as badly as Alex's was on Saturday -- one sick kid is enough, I don't want 2!

A glimpse into my house

2009-07-03T05:30:00.001-07:00

GAH!

2009-07-01T13:36:00.001-07:00

I have so much in my life to be thankful for. A great family. An amazing church. Supportive friends. A few extras that I am truly grateful for.

So why in the world must things be soooo tight all the freaking time?!? We were getting on our feet, acquired a second vehicle for just what we could afford, switched up internet/tv to save a couple extra bucks plus have better service, still had a little bit left over each month to treat each other to one nice thing.

Then summer hit.

My electric bill has doubled, and is on it's way to tripling.

My water bill has already tripled.

My phone rate was raised when I renewed my contract.

I had to see an optometrist yesterday. Cost me an extra $60 more than we had budgeted.

Pediatrician's office is changing payment policies, and soon the kids won't be able to see a dr unless I pay off the acct balance.

I need, desperately need, to see a dentist.

How in the world am I supposed to be able to handle all of this? This can't keep going. It just can't. The numbers don't add up, on paper, and especially not in my bank acct. So I'm looking for a job. Problem is, it has to not take away from my time w/ the kids, and not make my FM worse. I wish there was a Hastings here that I could work from like 7-11 at, and would be flexible with my husband's schedule. I'd be on my feet, but at least it was an enjoyable job (for the most part) and it'd keep me active. A little extra money, plus adult interaction. That would definitely work for me. My ideas so far have been Barnes and Noble and Jo-ann's. Any others?

Arg ... I just don't know. Wish me luck in finding something that works for me and my family.

Super Excited....

2009-06-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been so excited about something that you just can't stop talking about it?

It's constantly on your mind. So you call people that you know to share about it with them. And when you get done talking to that person, you call another person. And then another. And then you call another person, just to realize that you've already called that person to tell them the exact thing that you're calling to talk about.

Have you ever been THAT excited?

You start dreaming about it. You wake up with ideas that correspond with it. You hold hour long conversations with people about it where you just continue to feed ideas and concepts to each other, constantly building up the excitement even more. You start searching for places for this excitement to start to spill out into your life around you. Through writing. Through communicating with other people. Through taking action and making positive steps towards reaching your new and exciting goals.

Have you ever been THAT excited?

So excited that anytime you sit down to blog, and yes you have tons of material to blog about besides this exciting thing in your life, that the only thing you can concentrate on long enough to write is this really exciting thing. So excited that you wear a big grin anytime you start to think about it. So excited that your kids and your family feels that excitement. So excited that even the excruciating pain you live with doesn't matter quite as much when you're able to talk about the thing that has you so excited.

Have you ever been THAT excited?

In case you haven't caught on yet, I am THAT excited. I am so excited that I can barely contain myself. I'm constantly writing about it. Mainly writing for myself, but writing nonetheless. And I've considered blogging about it. But honestly, I don't want to turn my blog into "The life and times of Steph's church and their journey to truly look like Christ". And that IS what has me excited. It's what has my blood pumping. It's what has me flush with excitement. The conversations that it has led to. The deep thought it's provoked. The bond it has created among the members of my church, my family (b/c they are the only family I have here), young and old alike.

But I'm hesitant to constantly blog about it -- for several reasons. One, this blog is about my family, our life, and my personal thoughts. It's not about the rest of the world.

And part of me feels like the story of my church as a whole is not my story to share. See, there are other people here leading their own lives. To blog about the amazing things they're doing seems like I'm invading on their privacy. And that I never want to do.

Third, I know that I have friends that may not share my beliefs. That doesn't mean that I'm backing off on what I believe... not at all. And I will continue to celebrate my faith. And I'll continue to use my blog to share my victories and struggles in my faith. Because that's part of me blogging about my personal thoughts and convictions. Part of blogging, for me, is self-discovery. As I blog through my feelings, I learn more about myself... and that includes blogging about my faith. But I don't want to shove my faith in your face every time you read either.

On top of all of that, I would never want someone to read my blog and see the varying posts and then think that because I used some not nice words in one post and then wrote about my church in another, that that means that I'm fake. I'm a Christian. But I struggle. My biggest struggle is probably my language. But I also fight bad attitudes among many other things. My purpose as a Christian is to be as honest as I can be while still loving the world around me -- no matter whether we agree on our spiritual/ethical/political beliefs or not. I can value you as a person no matter what you believe, and I want people to accept me no matter what I believe.

So I'm going to continue to talk about my church from time to time. And I'm going to continue to be super excited about the amazing things I see happening there. But I'm still making an effort to talk about other things. I'm going to make the effort to allow my excitement to spill over into other subjects.

Because I am excited. I'm so excited that it's hard for me to hold still. And I felt an overwhelming need tonight just to share that fact alone. I'M EXCITED!!!!!!! :D :D :D

So just bare with me over the next few weeks while I find the balance between talk about my kids, my church, and myself. :)

2009-06-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

Tons of Pictures To Edit

2009-06-26T05:10:00.000-07:00

But in the meantime, here are a few from this last week. All straight from the camera because of a problem w/ editing software.

Hand Me Downs

2009-06-24T06:11:00.000-07:00

It's every mother's dream for their kids to be able to pass their clothes down from one to the other -- to always have cute clothes for their offspring, but to not have to pay for it on a regular basis. (Ok, so it's MOST mothers' dream -- I recognize that there are the crazies out there that believe that their kids are too good for hand me downs. If you're that mom, stop reading now. ;) ) Now when you have two children of the opposite sex, the likely-hood of being able to do that is very slim, even more so when the oldest is the girl.

Don't get me wrong, I had several gender neutral items from when Kairi was a newborn that Alex wore, and she has had some jeans and a few tshirts that were actually from the boys' dept that she's now been able to pass on to her brother. But for the most part, my daughter is a very girly-girl. Her favorite color is pink. Although, purple and red are close runners up. And even before she was showing such preference for pink, I ended up dressing her in pink (despite any original intentions) because I simply got tired of people calling her a boy.

The area I most regret not being able to pass clothes from one child to the other is in shoes. Kairi LOOOOOVES shoes. She has from the time she was 10 months old. If she can get a hold of shoe, it's almost immediately on her foot. And the more sparkly the shoe, the more red or pink a shoe, the happier she is. So as much as I would love to put Kairi's endless array of shoes on Alex's quickly growing feet, I don't. Instead, they all stay in a basket in Kairi's room where she puts them on her dolls feet. Alex usually wears them on his hands.

But this morning, I found that Alex has claimed a pair of Kairi's shoes. When I tried to trade him these shoes for a pair that actually fits (and are brown), he bawled. So I left them on him. I figure that as long as he doesn't insist on wearing them to church tonight, it's not going to hurt anything. And even if he insists on them for church, they have to come off when he sleeps tonight -- right?

Besides, Daddy's not in town right now to complain. For some reason, I don't think he would approve. ;) What do you think?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ETA:

Later this morning, Alex was mad at me. I still have no idea why. This was the first of multiple similar fits. He walked up to me like this, and didn't stop no matter what I asked him. Here's just under 3 of approx 15 minutes of his fit. ;)

Opposites attract?

2009-06-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

Kairi and Alex are exact opposites in a lot of regards. Kairi is high-maintenance yet independent. Alex is easy-going but always wants to be with you. I have to trick Kairi into giving me a hug -- Alex gives them out like their candy. Kairi is not a bread fan (unless it's either a club cracker or a cinnamon graham cracker) preferring most meats and pasta over all other choices. Alex does not appreciate meat, rarely likes pasta, but instead craves bread and crackers. Of course they do have things in common, but the majority of things go in this direction. Their opposite opinions on food are so distinct that Chris and I have joked on more than one occasion that we should just make one plate for the two of them, and then they each can eat what they'd like. It'd make for no fighting over food and their plates just might be emptied for a change by the end of the meal.

Recently, I've been more and more surprised by their plates after lunch, though. Typically, we start the meal all eating together. Then after I'm finished with my food, I take my plate to the sink and go get their beds ready for naps. I come back just in time to find both kids getting down from the table with near-empty plates. I've been in shock -- when did they starting eating all their food, or even the same thing?

Today my question was answered.

I was walking out of Kairi's room and into Alex's when suddenly Kairi ran straight into my legs. She was babbling in a very upset tone about her fork, but speaking so quickly that I had no idea what she was talking about. Finally she drug me into the room and pointed to Alex. He had two forks and one plate. And then Kairi finally, slowly, spits out what she was telling me:

"Mommy! Awex and me trade food! But I gib him my fork and he no gib me his! I need a fork!"

I look closer at the plates. When I left the room, all of Alex's chicken and broccoli were gone, but his pasta and corn had been on his plate. Kairi had eaten all of her pasta and corn, but had left her broccoli and chicken. Suddenly, Alex had tons of broccoli and chicken again, and Kairi had just pasta and corn. They had traded plates!

I have a feeling that this has become a regular occurrence. They're trading plates when I leave the room so that they both get what they like to eat.

Now I have to decide whether or not this is worth putting an end to. On one hand, they need to eat what I serve, and if they don't like it then they can not eat -- that's always been my philosophy and I'm not stepping down. But on the other hand -- they're not starving and trying to demand a snack as soon as they get up when they do this.

I know that there's absolutely no way that Chris would allow this to happen at supper. So do I pretend that I still don't notice that they're doing this so that they can get away with it?

Hmmm... Decisions decisions. I have no idea what to do. Input?

Owning It

2009-06-22T05:52:00.000-07:00

(Check out the blog from today before this one HERE for Alex's er story, and my letter to my husband for Father's Day HERE.)

Even the most amazing church has things they need to work on. We are all still human, so we're all still prone to making mistakes and having areas of weakness. The church being a body made up of all humans, would then naturally be that way too. So why is it that it's so hard for most churches to admit that they have places that need work? I truly believe that when churches ignore their problems, it only makes the unchurched's argument that we're all hypocrites stronger. It makes us seem unauthentic and not genuine. If we would only be willing to admit to ourselves and to the world that we're doing the best we can, but we don't that we don't have it exactly right ... we might see more people that would be willing to talk to us.

That being said, I am once again impressed with the church we attend. There's a problem at our church ... we're just not growing. It's not that we're not genuine in our faith and our beliefs because we are. It's not that we don't have a passion for lost souls; we do -- we support and attend missions throughout the world. The problem is that we are so focused on taking care of each other, loving on each other, and meeting the needs of those we already have, that we don't pay as much attention as we should to those that aren't a part of our congregation.

Most churches would spend their time patting themselves on the back for taking such good care of their own. And we are proud of that. Most churches would pretend that this isn't a problem. But it is. And if this problem was addressed in most churches, it would be by the elders and ministers sitting down and forming a plan to correct it. Which we are doing -- sort of.

Sunday mornings our preacher is spending his time preaching about church growth and how it relates to us directly. He's being real, and honest, and not sugar-coating things. Sometimes, that hurts. But that doesn't mean that it's not necessary. Afterwards, on Sunday nights we've been having "round table discussions". As a church, we're identifying the problems -- everyone has a voice. We're brainstorming solutions -- again, everyone has a voice. And then people are volunteering to be part of a team that solves that problem using the general consensus of the members.

I'm not sure that I've ever been a part of a congregation that was so real and open. It's refreshing to see them latch ahold of this problem, and own that this is who they are, but that it needs to change. And it's personally inspiring to me.

I want to be a person that when faced with a problem, I own it. I own that I'm not perfect, that I can't be perfect, but that I'm doing the best I can. And then I want to be honest with myself enough that I can brainstorm solutions so that I can create a plan of action and implement it.

Right now, I'm owning that I don't spend enough time in the Bible. I hunger for more time with God, and I'm willing to admit that the only thing that keeps me from that is me. Now, that's not saying that I don't have perfectly good excuses for, but in the end, they're just that -- excuses. So I'm making a plan -- to turn off all sounds and clear the table, and spend 30 minutes reading and praying every evening once the kids are in bed. Instead of switching straight into "get ready for the next day" mode, after they're asleep, I need to set aside time for me to really concentrate and on my relationship with God.

What do you need to own? Do you have a plan for responding to that?

Something I Should Have Shared and Just Haven't Yet...

2009-06-22T04:48:00.000-07:00

So I've been a bad blogger and not been posting a lot recently. A couple of reasons for that, but the main one being no energy so very little motivation. The other is that I'm feeling guilty about not having my book post ready .... but it's just not so we're going to have to deal for a little while.

A week ago Saturday, we had an emergency. It was around 11:45 or so, and we had all been in our pjs still and were just lounging around. I finally decided to get up and start getting lunch ready so I walked into the kitchen. Then it happened. Kairi started yelling at Alex. He had been on her wheely bug and she wasn't happy -- she wanted him off of it immediately. I walked into the room and told her to stop yelling at her brother and to share with him. I quickly noticed that Alex was way too close to the tv. Now since THIS is our tv stand, I worry about him being close to it, climbing on it, or falling near it ... nothing had ever happened before, but that's the one piece of furniture in our house that bothers me. I tell him to scoot back.

But Alex, now having entered the terrible twos (which I must say, isn't bad at all compared to his sisters'), he didn't obey. Instead, he leaned forward and told me no. It tipped forward, sending his head right into that glass corner. Blood was EVERYWHERE, and I do mean everywhere. I had blood all over me, him, the living room, the bathroom. I did the best I could to get it to stop bleeding, but nothing seemed to work. Finally it started to slow, and eventually stopped. But by the time it stopped, we were already on our way to the er.

Here he is at the er, as cleaned up as I could get him:

By that point he was happy, smiling most of the time, and just annoyed when someone touched his head.

There they checked his head out, everything seemed ok. Then they put dermabond on his forehead instead of stitches because they didn't want to deal w/ the fight that that would cause. He did great and was happy to get out of there. :)

While there, though, the er doc thought that Alex was getting an ear infection. She originally checked them out because he's been falling a lot lately. She prescribed amoxicillin, but we managed to get out of the er w/o that prescription. I called back up there later to see if she could call it out to the pharmacy, but they couldn't locate her and no one knew what I was talking about. I decided that it wasn't worth the worry since we would just see his regular doctor Monday as a follow up on his head, and I needed to schedule and ENT appt anyway since we had missed his last one.

Regular doctor told me that there was nothing wrong w/ Alex's ears as far as he could tell -- redness in the ear canal after tubes is normal. ENT said the exact same thing. So all is good in Alex's ear land.

Apparently my son is just really clumsy at the moment ... which makes sense considering how much he's growing right now!

The dermabond has already fallen off and all is well in Alex's world once again.

And I have told Chris that he is required to be home the next time we have an er visit. ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another post is coming today .....

I would just like to point out....

2009-06-15T13:55:00.000-07:00

That while I tell all the stories of my kids misbehaving on here, and that while I am more than willing to post pictures of their misdeeds, and while I tell about their bad attitudes and how hard it is to hold onto my sanity with them sometimes...... that in truth, I have amazing kids and I know that I'm doing a pretty good job for the most part.

My proof:
1) Sunday at church Kairi entered Wee Worship for the first time instead of spending the service in the nursery. Words that were used to describe her afterwards:
Delightful
Attentive
Well-behaved
Follows directions

Yeah ... that's MY daughter! She was fabulous. I was told the same by more than one person and was told over and over and over again. :D I'm totally beaming w/ pride.

2) Today was a busy day. We had to take Alex to the doctor for a follow up on our er visit Saturday (a story for either later today or tomorrow....). Immediately afterwards I had to drop the kids off to be watched while I had a follow up w/ my rheumatologist. Again, the kids were great. I was told that they were the best behaved children she has ever watched and that she really wants to do more w/ all of us as a family. Next week we're going over there to take the kids swimming. She was amazed by their politeness. (Yes, both my kids say please and thank you. And Kairi's even starting to say yes ma'am instead of ok or yes.)

You know, sometimes you start to feel like you must be doing something wrong when by the end of nearly every day you're so thankful that they're in bed and asleep that you just can't stand the thought of them waking up for several hours. But when I hear things like this, I know that my kids may be into everything, but they're learning, and growing, and doing GREAT. :D

An Alex Story

2009-06-11T09:20:00.001-07:00

The kids play out back almost all day long now. It's a tremendous relief for me, and they LOVE it.

Alex was playing out back this morning, and found the empty dog food bag that was going to be used as a trash sack. He drug it behind him and started putting his toys in it. At some point, he decided that he was bringing it inside.

Just as he started to cross the threshold, he started screaming. It was the kind of scream that makes me run for him -- terrified, hurt sounding. I just knew I'd find him bleeding.

I got to him and he was still screaming in short little bursts while pointing to the sack. Scared that something in there has bitten him, I opened up the sack as carefully as possible. Just at that moment, the sack began to jump, and Alex started screaming again.

I opened up the sack, and found a frog.

I showed Alex the frog, but it just made the screams louder.

Mr Frog was dumped by a hole in the fence so he could make his great escape. And Alex won't go anywhere near the sack now. Instead, he's constantly talking about "frugs", "ack", and "scawwy".

My poor baby boy. Mommy's too busy laughing to sympathize.

Funny Kairi story at bottom + "Reasons why yesterday sucked, and today will be better:"

2009-06-09T04:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday sucked:

1) Lyrica made me hungry ALL day long. Really, this is an on-going battle, but it was especially bad yesterday.
2) Lyrica made my stomach hurt like crazy. So even if I did eat, it wasn't staying down.
3) Despite Joyce being an amazing RAK, I still got not nearly enough done cleaning my house.
4) My kids fought constantly.
5) My kids found in the trash a tube of mascara that I thought was dried up, and then proceeded to paint themselves, the walls, a few toys and my couch.
6) Kairi ate half a pack of gum. Still waiting to see what that looks like coming out......
7) Lyrica makes me want to cry over EVERYTHING. So I spent most of the day crying.
8) Hurt worse than normal.
9) Chris doesn't understand the concept of asking me to do something instead of telling me to. He swears he thought he was asking if I wanted to. I still don't see how there was a question anywhere in there.
10) The drive to Target takes 3 times longer than normal when you go at 5pm.
11) The manager of Sonic wasn't there tonight, so they were of course incredibly slow.
12) Fish didn't thaw out in time last night for supper. So I had to switch up the meal plan AGAIN and we had the most terrible pan-seared steaks that I've ever prepared.
13) Kids screamed while sitting on my feet almost the entire time I cooked. Chris alternated which child he was prying off my feet until he finally figured out to gate them into Kairi's room and then sit in there with them. Which didn't make the screaming stop, but at least they weren't on my feet.
14) Migraine started at approximately 6:15pm. I was in tears and vomiting by 7:45 (shortly after kids were in bed). Migraine meds didn't help. I got to sleep after 11:30 thanks to it and a phone call from my mom.
15) My mom called at 11pm. To tell me that my cousin had her baby boy. Which I did want to know. But not when I have a migraine and was almost asleep.

Ok, we'll stop the list there, even though it could keep going.

Reasons today will be better:
1) The house is almost clean. I will finish it today.
2) Diapers are already washed.
3) Laundry will all be clean.
4) I might have visitors tonight.
5) No one will interrupt my cleaning when he comes home from work to insist that he needs a drink from Sonic.
6) Kairi is really excited about panties -- maybe today will be another successful potty day!
7) I refuse to allow today to be as bad as yesterday. And that alone means that today will be better.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Book post still coming soon. It's quite the effort to create it from scratch. Especially when you keep thinking of all the books you used to have on your list, but you can't remember all the names.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Funny Kairi story:

Kairi's cuticles crack quite often. Usually because she spends hours digging in the backyard every day. It bothers her and I end up kiss those booboos multiple times a day. Yesterday she asked me what kind of a booboo it was. She's all about classifying things right now. I told her it was a crack. We had to work hard on how to pronounce it. It was hilarious the way she said it, and I almost told Chris about it, but I'm glad I didn't. If I had, I wouldn't be able to tell you this story about supper.

To set the scene, Chris and Kairi sit on the same side of the table. Kairi dominates Chris' attention through most of the dinner with her description of the day.

K: And Daddy! I have a CRAP!!!
C: (Looking bewildered, amused, angry and confused all at the same time) You have a WHAT?
K: A CRAP! See Daddy! On my finger -- it's a CRAP! Kiss my crap, pwease. It make my crap better.
C: Wait! What?!? Kiss your crap? Kairi! You don't say that word!
Me: (Laughing hysterically) A craCK Daddy. She has a craCK in her finger.
C: She has a what?
Me: A crack in her finger. Well, actually in her cuticle.
K: Yeah! See Daddy -- it's right there. A crap!
C: Kairi, say craCK. Cra-ckkkkkkkkkkkk.
K: Dat's what I said Daddy. A crap-k.
C: No Kairi, listen. CraCK. CraCK. CraCK.
K: Caa-wa-kkkkkkk. Crap-k.
C: (heavy sigh) Kairi, try again. CraCK.
K: (exasperated with her Daddy's obsession over something that she knows she has right)No Daddy. Just kiss my crap booboo and den I eat.
Me: (Still laughing) We've worked on it all day. You're not going to get it any better.
C: (Laughing, but still sort of horrified) I just keep imagining her announcing after church on Sunday in the middle of the chapel that she has a crap and the looks everyone is going to give us!
Me: More hysterical laughter
C: I'm serious Steph! If Joel or an elder hears her, you may never get to teach a class after all!
Me: (Laughing) No, Chris. It'll be fine. Besides, they'll blame you. You're the sailor.
C: (Finally willing to joke with me about this.) Oh yeah, that's comforting.
K: DADDY! You still haven't kissed my crap! I wanna eat! Kiss it!

I would like to introduce

2009-06-03T10:26:00.000-07:00

A new family member. At least for today she is. Kairi was very very upset this morning because this family member was locked outside. Kairi begged and begged and begged for me to let this new person in.

Would you like to meet this person?

Her name is quite strange, so please be polite. Her name is cat-poo. Say it fast like kapoo, but throw a VERY soft t sound in it.

Cat-poo is invisible and was outside this morning. Kairi just wanted me to rescue poor Cat-poo. I just had to open the door a little little bit and Cat-poo would come inside.

"Please please please, Mommy, let Cat-poo inside. I ca-not open da door myself Mommy. So please open it so I can wescue poor Cat-poo! She needs my help! I'm coming Cat-poo! Mommy, hurry! Open da door!"

I'm not sure when Cat-poo will need to be rescued again, or if she's even ever coming back. But today she was here.

Menu!

2009-06-02T05:33:00.000-07:00

If you'll scroll to the bottom of this page you'll see a calendar. That's my menu! You see, if I don't make a menu plan at the beginning of each pay day, then I spend at least an extra $100 on groceries and $150 on take out -- I don't have that kind of money to spare! So several friends and I started menu planning together in an effort to save money and provide our family with wholesome meals. When I do it, it's awesome. When I don't, I immediately remember why I should. :)

I wanted to give you a tour of the calendar real fast.

First of all, every meal can be clicked on for more details. Those details might include the rest of the name, just in case it was longer than the box. It might include a recipe link for it. Or it might just be what I serve with it. So click each meal for more details.

Second, you may notice that most meals are followed by (CP). That's to remind me that it's a crock pot meal. Because of the fibro, I'm ALWAYS tired -- especially by evening. I don't want to cook then. I am usually excited to cook in the morning, though. So I prepare my food in the AM, throw it in the cp, and call it good. It makes my evenings go sooo much smoother. I have 2 crocks, so if you notice that I have two cp recipes up, it's not because I was brain dead. I really can cook 2 cp meals at a time. Or the timing just works out where I can prepare one after I've finished the 2nd meal.

As noted right above the calendar, I don't usually post breakfast and lunch. That's because they're fairly predictable. The kids want either pigs in a blanket (made w/ beef sausage) or Nutrigrain bars for breakfast. And since that's easy and fast, I'm ok with it. I might make eggs for breakfast as I always have them on hand, but the chances of them eating eggs are slim to none, so I usually stick w/ the other. Lunch is leftovers. If I don't make myself eat them for lunch, then my fridge fills up and food gets wasted. I try to keep everything on hand in order to eat a turkey melt for lunch (bread, turkey, cheese, and tomato) in case supper wasn't good or there weren't leftovers ... but those are few and far between.

What happens when I don't want to do what's on the plan for that day? Either I move things around, OR I have a few frozen meals (like Voila's Garlic Chicken) that I can throw on. I'm in the process of trying to make some more of these on my own so that I can just freeze them for future use and not waste the money, but in the meantime I'll buy the prepackaged stuff.

One last thing ... if there's a recipe up that doesn't have any extra info, that's because it's one that I have in my head and never think about needing a recipe. Just comment or email to get more details (like what in the world IS that? ;) ).

~~~~~~~~~
I'll do the book post soon...I promise! But I'm having to make the list from scratch. Yikes!

Chris is in an ambulance

2009-06-01T01:49:00.000-07:00

And on his way back to the er. I woke up at 4am b/c he was on the floor and sounded like he was in labor. I know that I had been hearing him in my sleep. Later I found out that he been like that for an hour or so. I called 911 b/c he was in so much pain he could barely talk. When they got here he was able to say a little bit more ... but most of it was b/w cuss words. They offered for me to take him to the ER, but he refused to wake up the kids. So away he went... It's the second time in my life I've had to watch him be taken by ambulance away from me and I HATE it. At least last time I got to follow, but he's right. All I could do is sit in the lobby waiting and waiting and waiting b/c they won't let the kids back there. It's better to wait here where the kids are asleep.

I'll update know when I know something. In the meantime I'm going to go lay back down -- probably won't sleep but Lyrica is killing my ability to function.

Wow! 101 posts!

2009-05-30T05:24:00.000-07:00

I just realized that my last post was my 100th! I originally intended to celebrate by writing out 100 interesting facts about myself. But seriously -- 100? Yeah, I don't think that that's possible. So I was trying to think of something more appropriate. And I'm thinking that my next post or maybe the one after my next, will contain that number of books that I want to read or have already read but am willing to read again. So if it's my 102nd post, I'll post 102 books that I want to read. Now, I'm putting this off for a later post simply because ... well, I already have a much longer list than that, and I'd rather pick my top reads off of that than try to come up with them on my own. So I'm going to go dig it out of the box it's buried in. And maybe in the next few months my goal will be to finish reading the books on that list. That'd be fun, right? :)

Memorial Weekend -- A general update

2009-05-28T05:44:00.000-07:00

We had quite a weekend! And it didn't end until yesterday! Unfortunately, I can't find my camera's battery charger, so I have no pictures. :(

Chris's parents got into town Saturday night and stayed until yesterday morning. Sunday we went to church of course. We went to St John's Seafood that night. Their food is always yummy and they give so much food! That night Chris grilled fajita meat for us. Loved it!

Monday we went to MOSH (Museum of Science and History). While I will say that by the end I was ready to pull out my hair due to the whineyness that is my daughter, overall the trip was good. And I'm fairly certain that most of the whineyness was due to missed naps. Chris grilled for us again that night. I love it when he grills; it's always so good!

And Tuesday Tony (my fil) relandscaped the backyard! I'll have to find the battery charger and take a picture because there is no way to explain what he did unless you've seen my backyard, but I absolutely love it! When (if?)the rain would clears up, I know that the kids will love playing out back even more now. :)

The in-laws left yesterday morning and while I loved having them here, it was really nice to get back to a semi-normal routine. Of course, Kairi and Alex keep asking for PaPa (he's a definite favorite). And since they took the dog with them, they're constantly asking for "my Tiga puppy". (Dog's name was Tiger.) We almost changed our minds and kept Tiger, but neither Chris nor I felt like dealing with her pooping and hacking up loogies on the floor anymore. Honestly, his parents are much better equipped to deal with it since they don't have kids. Oh, and it bummed me out yesterday when I realized I had to wash my own dishes. LOL ... Becky (mil) knows how much I hate washing dishes and did it for me while she was here. I love her!

I am truly lucky. While from time to time each of my in-laws get on my nerves or do something I don't agree with, I am truly lucky to have them. First of all, we all make the extra effort to get along. And I know that they see how much Chris has grown up since meeting me, marrying me, and having kids. I know that they credit a lot of that to his commitment to me, and therefore they respect my decisions and the way I handle things. Also, they have conceded that while they may not always agree w/ my parenting style (although they usually do ... just a few moments that we disagree on), they had their chance to raise their boys the way THEY wanted to, and now it's my chance to raise my own kids and make my own mistakes. Becky will frequently give input, but if I ignore her advice she doesn't get upset or mad at me. Becky and I talk on a daily basis and if I don't call her, she gets worried about us. Tony and I agree on general political topics, but frequently disagree on specifics ... so we "discuss" our differences on occasion. But I think my willingness to stick to my beliefs while still at least considering his viewpoint has increased his respect for me. We get along better now than ever. I love also that they always try to take a step back from my marriage and any disagreements Chris and I might have most of the time. All in all, I have great in-laws. :) And I know that I'm very lucky to have them. So when I say that I'm sad to see them go, it's real. Besides, who could I not be excited to have them around when I know the joy that their visit brings my kids. Kairi screeches their names and celebrates the moment they show up, and she doesn't calm down until she's asleep. :)

UPDATE!!!

2009-05-22T06:43:00.001-07:00

Alex just used the potty!!!!!!!

Way to Go Kairi!!!

2009-05-22T06:12:00.000-07:00

Kairi took her diaper off as soon as she got up this morning and threw it away. I warned her that she had to go in the potty. If she went on the floor she'd have to wear a diaper again today. She told me "OK! I go in potty!"

And then ... she really did! She was crawling on me and suddenly looked at me and said "I want go potty." So we set down and she went. :D Hurray! It's not that she doesn't have control or know what to do ... we conquered that a long time ago. It's that she's not had the desire to do it, and I wasn't willing to push her.

Of course, as soon as Alex saw Kairi on the potty he wanted to sit there too. This is his 3rd time to sit on it. Nothing happens when he does, but it's more about letting him get used to it. He's showing interest so much earlier than Kairi did.... Hopefully this means he'll train sooner!

HURRAY! I love feeling like there's an end in sight to diapers. :D

The Monster Has a Name

2009-05-20T12:07:00.001-07:00

The monster I dubbed "pain" was finally named today. To refresh your memory, the family blog talked about it here, here, here, and this blog mentioned it here.

Basically: my joints hurt. My hands hurt. My feet hurt. Some days are worse than others. Some days I can't move, others I can. Last fall it was theorized that I was experiencing lasting effects from a virus I had when I was in high school. Sorta makes sense -- except for the fact that some of my symptoms started before I had the virus. New doctor I saw last month sent me to a rheumatologist. I saw him today and he was able to put a name to this beast.

And the name of the monster?

Fibromyalgia

From the National Fibromyalgia Association's website:
Fibromyalgia (pronounced fy-bro-my-AL-ja) is a complex chronic pain disorder that affects an estimated 10 million Americans. While it occurs most often in women, it strikes men and children, and all ethnic backgrounds. For those with severe symptoms, fibromyalgia (FM) can be extremely debilitating and interfere with basic daily activities.

I start taking Lyrica tonight and doing yoga every day starting tomorrow. I see the dr again in a month. So between now and then, let's hope that I start seeing some relief. And as I learn more about it, I'll continue to update.

Oh, btw, the blood test on that last link came back clear. I have the mutations that could lead to hemochromotosis, but I do not currently have it. That's good news. :)

So that straw I was talking about ...

2009-05-19T04:55:00.000-07:00

While the rest of the family didn't feel it, I did Sunday night. Not going into details, but basically I spent all Sunday night and all day yesterday bawling. I'm feeling a little bit better about it right now. No one died or got sick -- just a situation that I'm not completely comfortable with occurred. Thankfully, as soon as I got home Sunday night, Chris recognized how upset I was, and he held me for 30 minutes while I cried and yelled and cried some more. His shirt was drenched in tears, and I looked like a raccoon by the time I was done. But I was so thankful that he was home to listen.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of him being home: The reasoning behind THIS POST, where I blogged about having to accept things no matter how hard they might be ... isn't going to happen! This I CAN now tell you about.
That morning Chris was at sea with the ship. He emailed me with the news that there was a chance that he would be deployed apart from the rest of the ship on July 20 for 383 days, including training time. He would be going to work at an Army base in Afghanistan. That scared the crap out of me. There were 3 ships that had to put up someone to go, then after those people were ~~voluntold~~ volunteered, someone higher up would select which of those three would go. Chris' ship already has lost 13 people this way, one of those from his division. Apparently, the higher ups agreed that Chris was needed on his ship because of this. So he's not going! HURRAY! HURRAY! HURRAY! I'm so thankful that he'll be home until the original deployment date. And thankful that original deployment is as short as it is.

Prayers please

2009-05-16T04:21:00.000-07:00

I won't describe the longness of last night. Let's just say it was a bad one. But to make it even "better", I got a call at 1:30am that I wanted to ask for you all to pray for.

My grandmother was taken to the ER last night when her blood pressure reached 219/92. She was also struggling with a few other things that have been diagnosed in the past, but have never been as bad as they were last night. They spent several hours there, and finally made it home right before I was called. She now has to find a doctor (as the dr the whole family has seen for over 20 years retired recently) and see about getting these things under control.

It's been a hard year for my grandparents, on all counts. I really don't think that our family can handle anything else going wrong. It seriously feels like one more straw and the camel carrying all of this is going to collapse.

Now I'm going to go try to prepare for a day with the kids and a night out with Chris. Thanks for thinking of us!

Kairi and Alex interactions

2009-05-15T06:29:00.001-07:00

Kairi and Alex were watching Handy Manny this morning when suddenly that room was quiet. I went in to find out what was going on just in time to hear Kairi tell Alex "Don't push buttons. Go tell Mommy you pushed da button." Alex just looked at her like she was crazy. Quickly I realized that he had turned the satellite box off. Going to correct it, I also told Alex that he doesn't need to push buttons. At which point he looked at me and pointed to the tv and says:

"Uh-ooooooh!"

Then he held his hands up while shrugging his shoulders as if to tell me that he has NOOOO idea how it happened. And then he hugged his sister and walked off grinning.

~~~~~

Yesterday Alex hit Kairi in the head with a toy. Kairi grabbed the toy from him, said "No hitting!" and then ran to me and said "He hit me! Tell Alex say sorry and hug me!".

She knows the process because she's been the culprit waaaay too many times.

~~~~

Because I do make the kids immediately say sorry and hug the other person as soon as they hurt each other, Alex has begun to believe that a hug rights all wrongs and heals all hurts.

Yesterday Alex was trying to get Kairi's attention. He just wanted to play. He was calling "Sis! Sis! Sis!" as he squatted into his concentration-pose looking straight at her, but she wasn't turning around. Probably because it was the first time he'd ever said "sis" and she didn't know that that meant her. She kept playing with her music toys, completely oblivious to the start of the sound of desperation in his voice. Soon he was sobbing while trying to get her to turn around and pay attention to him. Finally, he walked up to her, bent over so that his face was inches from hers and goes "Sis!!! Hugga!!!!!!!" and then he started crying, until she hugged him. As soon as he got his hug, he grinned and they went hand in hand to her room to play.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Check out the giveaway posted HERE!

I'll post soon ... but in the meantime, A Giveaway!

2009-05-15T05:37:00.000-07:00

One of the blogs I ~~stalk~~ read is Rock and Drool. I've posted a few of her giveaways before. When she does one, I almost always love what she's giving away, and this giveaway is no exception. :)

Ziggy Marley has produced a family/kid friendly cd with all sorts of fun featured artists on it. And with as musically focused as Kairi is, you know I am always looking for new types of music for her to experience, mimic and dance to. This sounds like a great cd for that. The cd, Family Time, hit stores May 5 but you don't have to buy it just yet ....

Melissa over at Rock and Drool is giving away several copies of the new cd as well as an IPOD shuffle! So run on over to her blog and comment to enter!

Playing with the camera...

2009-05-13T10:58:00.000-07:00

What do you think?

Pleeeeeease

2009-05-13T06:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday while at the zoo, Chris and I ran into a couple with a child Kairi's age. They heard her talking to us and were amazed at how well she spoke. While marveling over her (which yes, she speaks well and I'm super proud of her ... but it's not something to throw a party over), I was able to witness something that helped me have a little insight into why Alex is so grumpy. Their son wanted a drink, so without having to ask for it, he whined and hit it in his dad's hands. They gave him the drink while asking if he was thirsty -- never giving him the chance to respond. He wanted out of the stroller, so he starts shrieking and trying to get out, and they let him out without him ever having to say what he wanted. We did hear him say a couple of words to Kairi, so I know that he's able to speak, but he wouldn't around his parents. And I hypothesize that it's because he never HAD to say anything. How does that relate to Alex?

One of the reasons Alex is becoming more and more unbearable is that he's realized that we don't understand what he wants most of the time, so within seconds of us not understanding him he's screaming. I know he's frustrated, and I do feel for him. Can you imagine what it's like to know what you want and know that you would be allowed to have it if you could just some how let the people that love you know what you want -- but you can't get them to understand? You'd be pretty frustrated too, right? Now that I've recognized that that's one of the reasons for his constant whinyness, I've decided to treat it the way I did Kairi at this age. Granted we were already doing this ... but I'm becoming more insistent and consistent with it.

Alex wants a "coke" (drink of any sort is named coke). He knows the word coke, he also knows how to say please. Instead of him just bringing me the drink, or instead of him just yelling coke, he has to do the following to get something to drink:
Bring me the cup and tell me coke please. When we first started this, 90% of the time, he'd do one, but not the other. Or he'd tell me coke, but not the please. Or the please but not the coke. And we were/are battling over it. And once he's got his coke, he has to say thank you, or he doesn't get to keep it. I know it sounds strict. But here's the result. This morning he had finished his drink and was still thirsty. Without prompting, he brought me his coke and said "coke leeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaasssse Nonny!". I quickly refilled it for him, and he with the biggest grin chanted while walking into the living room, "tank oo! tank oo! tank oo Nonny! tank oo! tank oo! tank oo Nonny!". :) Melted my heart. He knew what he needed to say to get what he wanted, and he did it. And all frustrations melted away. Not only that, but he was polite.

We are also working on other words. Book and read -- if he wants us to read he needs to say book please or read please while handing us the book. Pacifier -- he has to ask for his pacifier before bed with paci please. Up please. Down please. More food please. Draw please. Help, truck, name of whatever toy he wants, go, church. We're insisting that he use the real words. And while I know it frustrates him right now, before long I know he'll be proud and grinning because he was able to say what he wanted to say. Kairi has a bad habit of trying to tell me what it is he wants while he's crying (I swear they have their own language, similar to a twin language), but I'm refusing to respond unless it's Alex that tells me. And it's working.

As I mentioned earlier, we did this with Kairi while I was living in Texas, and I think it worked. I frequently hear compliments on how polite Kairi is and how well she speaks. But I will say that just because she can say the above does not mean that I'm stopping there. It frustrates Kairi as well, but I'm insisting that she attempt whole sentences. Instead of just coke please, we have an entire process we go through. She says coke please, I tell her to ask like a big girl and say "Please may I have coke Mommy?" and she usually repeats back "Please may coke Mommy?" or something similar. She adds in a new word to the sentence on a regular basis. And again, we insist on thank yous.

I don't think that this is necessarily the only way to do things or even the best way, but it works for us. And I'm so proud of my little man. This morning he's been able to ask me for more food, more coke, and a toy he couldn't reach. And all three did not involve any screaming or whining. :) Ahhh ... the sound of sweet success. Pleeeeease. :)

I hate days like yesterday

2009-05-12T04:38:00.000-07:00

When I first got up yesterday morning, I was hopeful. I was hopeful because despite a not great night of sleep, it had still be more that normal. I was hopeful because despite hurting, I didn't have any plans that would kill me to cancel so I could stay home, get caught up, and hopefully stop hurting before long. I was hopeful because I had planned to make homemade pizza for supper with all of Chris' favorite toppings. I was hopeful because I knew that sometime between 2 and 5 Chris would come home. I haven't had him home on a Monday night in a couple of weeks. And I was hopeful because I had Ladies Devo scheduled for 7pm that night and Chris would be home to watch the kids so that I could go.

And then it started. The whines, and hits, and shoves, and screaming, and yelling. All of those came from my children. After every picture I edited I was having to stop and break up another fight. I finally gated the two into separate bedrooms for 5 minutes because I couldn't get either child to stay in time out for anything. When I let them out, they ran to each other, hugged, and then started fighting again. *sigh*

My mom tried to encourage me that after a good nap, the kids would be refreshed and in better moods. Yeah ... didn't happen. The whining -- oh the whining. I wanted ear plugs. And I'm certain that today I will find bruises on the kids from each other. It was that bad.

Chris came home finally. Around 4 -- which was good because it gave me a little extra time to pick up since I'd spent the morning with pictures instead of cleaning. The whining let up for maybe 5 minutes. Maybe. Then he did it. Chris instead of asking me to run to Sonic for a drink and a chili cheese coney for him, he handed me his spending money, and a coupon, and pretty much TOLD me to go. Ummm... yeah, that didn't go over so well. Yes, I was more than willing to go get it. But don't tell me to. Ask me.

I had been planning on starting the pizza dough around 4, but was distracted by the above situation. So when I got home, Chris had started putting the stuff into the bread machine. I helped him finish up and realized that it wouldn't be ready until 10 till 6. Oh well, at least supper would be done by 7 and the kids in bed by 7:30.

At 6 I walked into the kitchen wondering why the bread machine hadn't said that it was done. I looked into it. All the ingredients just set there, like the machine had never been turned on. But it WAS on. Chris came in to see what was wrong. We figured it out, and the pizza dough was restarted. But it was 6. If we waited to finish the pizza for supper, it would 8 before we were even sitting down to eat.

So I left. Again. I ran to Food Lion, which I hate, to pick up Voila's Garlic Chicken frozen meal and some Texas Toast. There were a couple of other things I needed, but I figured that I'd be gone at most 25 minutes. Supper would be ready by 7 and the kids in bed by 7:30, just like originally planned.

But they were out of the Garlic Chicken. I was frustrated and trying to decide what to do instead when a stocker found me. He quickly reassured me that there were more in the back and that he could grab some for me. He told me to give him 2 minutes. 15 minutes later he found me (I had given up on him by then) in another part of the store w/ 3 bags of my garlic chicken. I pulled my basket into one of the two open lines. Both were lined into the aisles. As soon as I was close enough to put my groceries onto the counter, another register opened. And another one. Gee, thanks.

I got home at 7 just as a thunder storm was hitting. Storms mean no satellite. Chris had finally gotten both kids in a good mood by sitting on the floor and signing and watching Dora with them. But the minute the storm hit and the satellite was off, the fighting and whining started again.

Supper was ready by 7:30, and so was the pizza dough, by the way. One thing I will say for eating so late -- the kids ate! Well, Kairi refused to eat her broccoli, but her carrots and corn were devoured! Alex ate EVERYTHING.

Kids were finally in bed by 8:15. And they were still fighting, whining, and crying as we tucked them into bed.

Obviously, Ladies' Devo did NOT happen. After putting the food away, I looked at my messy kitchen, turned off the light, and walked out. I grabbed an ice cream sandwich and a book, and then curled up on the couch and read until 10.

Thankfully, they seem to be in MUCH better moods today.
So here's the plan for the day:
~Clean that kitchen that I should have last night.
~Reclean the kids rooms.
~Start the laundry.
~Park this afternoon -- maybe Chris will be home in time to go with us!
~PIZZA FOR SUPPER! lol....

Picture Post 5 of the Day

2009-05-11T08:16:00.000-07:00

Here are what I think are the last of them for the day. It's a compilation of pictures stretching from February through the end of March.

What happens when Daddy leaves butter on the island -- Kairi plays.

Big grins

He's so handsome. :)

When you tell Kairi to make funny faces, you get:

He loves that blankey.

Caught tickling Nana. :)

Lounging with Daddy before bed.

I'm cute...

With Nana at Pop-pop's.

With Pop-pop.

About to go to bed....

Arg! I be a tired Pirate!

Every pirate needs her sword.

Mommy! I'm stuck! Don't take pictures of me!

His toy makes farting noises. He loves it. It has to be a boy thing.

Look Mommy, I can stir! lol...

Mother's Day Zoo Trip -- Picture Post 4 of the Day

2009-05-11T06:43:00.000-07:00

The Jacksonville Zoo offered free admission to all mom's on Mother's Day yesterday. So Chris and I loaded the kids up, took them out, and completely wore them out. :)

Here's our trip:

Sting Ray Bay

Watching elephants

I see birds!

Look Mommy! That's a BIG snake!

If I hold on real tight, maybe I can get out of this thing.

The jaguar completely fascinated the kids. Especially when he got very close.

Otters!

The water fountain that the kids loved.

I'm telling! She splashed me!

There's also a water park at the Zoo.

Alex thought that this was his personal fountain. :)

Picture Post 3 of the Day

2009-05-11T06:29:00.001-07:00

We made it back home the day before Easter. Here's a few shots from the celebration at church the next day. There's more, of course, but they're currently unavailable on a dead laptop.

Picture Post 2 of the Day

2009-05-11T06:03:00.000-07:00

Over the last month, I've managed to catch a few pictures that I love. There are several of friends from church in this batch. (Clickable pics)

Ms Dee

Look at those tears -- poor baby. ;)

Kairi remains unaffected by his crying. :)

Carter!

Dance, dance, dance!

Mommy, I told you NO pictures!

It's the jump and clap.

Some of my favorite pictures of Kairi are like this -- showing her happy and in motion. That's how we find her 90% of the time. :)

I'm an airplane!

Look! All three are looking in the same direction -- at the same time! It's a miracle!

Grayson

Baby G

Baby Dash

Grayson and Dash

Mommy and Son

Picture Post 1 of the Day

2009-05-11T05:21:00.000-07:00

I'm so far behind in pictures that it's not even funny. So here's the first set of the day for you. After Chris' grandmother's funeral, we gathered the entire Pyle family together and shot the following pictures. I'm only posting a few of them. Most of the rest are in a link at the end. There's some not included on here, but those are on a dead laptop -- we'll eventually recover them I'm sure.

--Remember, clickable pics.--

To view all 60:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2014848&id=160200749&l=8a7134bab8

Second post of the day and it's not even 10am

2009-05-06T06:29:00.000-07:00

I would just like to point out, that if you are trusting God to take care of your family, and you tell Him that you will trust and accept His will in your life, that you can't suddenly declare it to be Satan at work just because you don't like what looks like a strong possibility of happening.

A fairly common situation.....

You are a military family. You are putting your trust in God to take care of your family. Suddenly, you learn that your husband may be leaving 4 months earlier than expected, for twice as long as expected. You (and your family) can not suddenly declare that Satan is attacking you just because you don't see the reasoning behind him needing to be sent away. Your kids definitely need their daddy ... you definitely want your husband home ... but just because you don't see how this would benefit you in the long run doesn't mean that it's NOT in God's will. It's a time to trust Him.

Yeah, I'm preaching to certain family members here ... and myself some. So in a couple of months when I'm crying about how unfair the whole situation is ... if it gets to that point of course ... remind me that I promised that I would be trusting God. Obviously I'm going to cry because he's gone and I miss him -- that's only normal. And I'll cry because of all the things he and the kids will miss -- it's to be expected. I'll probably cry about not having a break as well. But I do NOT want to find myself crying because I'm angry at God for allowing it to happen.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
Isaiah 55:8

Mommy*Mama*Mom

Moving to a New Blog

Someone Stop Me!

What a Great Weekend!

Not Bothering With Updates

Just a few updates

The Scoop On Kairi's Kidneys

A Quick Conversation

A Kairi Funny

Moving

Driving Me CRAY-ZAY!

Warning Signs You Don't Want to Miss

A Mean Old Lady

Picture this

School Blues

How in the world did so much time pass?

Let's Restart

To Do:

I have ...

Super Kairi

Another Difference In Kairi and Alex

Another Picture from Yesterday

A Day at the Beach

The Princess and the Frog

New Location

Writer's Guilt

Communal Property

Hilarious or Infuriating? Or Both?

When they arrest me, this is my insanity defense....

My confession....

Only a Texan...

Another Saturday Edition

Story time

More on Alex

Randomness from the last few weeks

Reading the Bible -- in 90 Days

Alex Update

Here's Hoping

A New "Diet"

I don't even know where to start

I took a break

The latest in our string of calamities

Christopher Pyle found out that glass oven doors shatter into pretty little pieces. FML.

Our Morning Adventure

There's a Hole in the Bucket

The Great Sock War

Meant to get this up yesterday -- Chris interrupted me though

2 Videos -- 1 more coming later today

Animal Post

A Conversation I'm Tired of Having

While cooking lunch today

Crying too Hard to Make Sense -- Just Read The Article

The Post I Meant To Make Yesterday, But Ran Out of Time

You Coming Too Daddy?

Picture Post!

Rocky Road

More Dressup

The Diva Herself

Today's Second Post -- Kairi's Birthday Party!

Meet Our Newest Family Member!

Being Crafty

What a Day...

Irrational Fears

It's Like Riding a Bicylce ... Right?

A Small Break in Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

A Knock at My Door

Kairi's Biggest Fan

I've Tried

A glimpse into my house

GAH!

Super Excited....

Tons of Pictures To Edit

Hand Me Downs

Opposites attract?

Owning It

Something I Should Have Shared and Just Haven't Yet...

I would just like to point out....

An Alex Story

Funny Kairi story at bottom + "Reasons why yesterday sucked, and today will be better:"

I would like to introduce

MommyMamaMom